The Bachelorette 3
Damage Control: Previewing The End
Commentary By Eleanor Meilinger
February 28, 2005
I have a recommendation for everybody that the networks are going to HATE! From now on we should all just watch the 3-hour season finale of any series that doesn't offer entertainment or very real competition from the start. Who needs six to eight weeks of teasers to then see the (few and far between) highlights re-iterated in a single night? For this season of the Bachelorette, I bet they were hard pressed to fill those three hours.
Promo for tonight's anti-climax have the nerve to promise something never witnessed before in reality television - followed by a clip of weepy Jenn saying "I'm falling in love with two men". Gee, we've never heard that before! I swear they are having fun at our expense! I can just visualize the production team rolling around the floor laughing when they put promos like that together.
Next we have the scene in a limo, with Jenn telling her two friends how difficult keeping her desire for one boy a secret has been, the same clip that has been shown ad infinitum since the premiere. I suppose that incident will finally take place tonight. Recognizing that they needed to spice it up a bit, they threw in strobe effects while Jenn holds her head to underline just how dramatic this scene will be. Give me a break!
We already know there will be another season, this time with an actor who makes no bones about why he is there. Charlie O'Connell is making the rounds telling people that he will be the next "Bachelor" and that he has no desire to find a life-mate. It's blatantly clear that he is doing the series to parlay his tenuous claim to celebrity into a few television interviews and supermarket rag cover stories. THAT is refreshing. If they follow through and don't try to pad the series with false clues and hokey drama fueled by what the deluded executives think the audience wants to see it might turn out to be entertaining. This season of The Bachelorette was not. If Jenn realized early on that she had made a mistake in signing on for a second run, she should have at least made a valiant effort to look like she was having fun. I know she is not an actress, but she has had plenty of media exposure and can put on her "happy face" for the chat show circuit. She owed it to the audience not to make it feel like she was headed to the dentist's office every time she anticipated a date. It got to the point that I had to force myself to tune in and then only because I had a commitment to cover it. Unlike Jenn, I admitted my mistakes early on and threw out all pretenses. I know I will be recording tonight's finale and fast-forwarding through the redundant bits - pretty much turning the three-hour debacle into a manageable hour of material to recap. OK, I admit I'll tune in for the live ATFR Ceremony - just for laughs.
Jenn has spent the past week doing every talk show and magazine interview that would have her - I wouldn't be surprised to see her in this month's Popular Science or on ESPN's Sports Center. I diligently watched all I stumbled across and read anything I found online (I wouldn't invest a dollar on this show) only to discover the startling revelations that she will not use the word "never" when asked if she would do another reality series. She doesn't want to close any doors. Newsflash - before this series aired Jenn was remembered fondly as "America's Sweetheart". Now she has become yesterday's news. No one will care once that final show airs.
In a weak attempt at damage control, ABC seems to have sent their Bachelorette on this media blitz, hoping to imply that the tabloids were wrong; that there is some surprise waiting at the end of the road and that regardless of the outcome, we will know the truth by the end of tonight's show. Are you buying it? Thought not. In an earlier column I referred to a song, penned by Jerry and a pal, which claimed to recapture his feelings about the whole experience. I never listed the website because I didn't want to assist in this attempt at self-promotion even before the series ended. This week, the website containing the song underwent several changes. At one point it looked to contain a major spoiler but that was quickly shutdown. Now that song is available for download for .99 cents. If you really want to hear it let me know, I'll send it to you for free. After the first 30 seconds it repeats itself over and over anyway - just like the series.
The one thing I look forward to tonight is watching Chris Harrison in his element. He was the best part of the After the Final Rose Ceremony for Byron and Mary and seemed to revel in putting Byron in the hot seat. Now we know he has special feelings for Jenn and she doesn't like being asked tough questions in front of the cameras. I'll be watching to see if he holds back tonight or remains true to form and finally calls her to account for some of the misdeeds of the past six weeks. It would be a shame for Chris to pass up an opportunity to shine -Jenn has had plenty of time to get her side on the record. Let's hope the guys get their moment as well!
Tomorrow launches a fresh season of Amazing Race and Nashville Star. Wednesday will bring America's Next Top Model back. That series at least has the honesty to refer to itself as a "dramality" series. No pretense. Part is staged and eliminations are at the sole discretion of the PRODUCERS! That's right. Basically any show, which relies on a panel of pseudo-celebrity judges, will run a miniscule disclaimer during the end credits informing viewers that the "reality" is, barring random events and "acts of God", the end is likely predetermined before the first camera rolls. So what? As long as they don't underestimate the intelligence of the fan-base and their tolerance level for BS, if the show is entertaining we'll be watching. However, when a series becomes a running cliché and offers no real surprise except that we keep tuning in week after week in the hope that our loyalty will pay off; when evidence of staging and poor judgment is overwhelming but the producers insist on covering up or denying it, then it is a safe bet that the franchise is doomed. The biggest headlines this series could have garnered would have come from a complete confessional at the end. Will we see it?
"Tune in tonight for the least shocking, most predictable conclusion to a ho-hum season ever!"
Not likely.
Eleanor is about to take the leap from "writing to keep out of trouble" to "Writer with Resume". With a little luck you will be seeing her name in some of those credits by the end of 2005. She'll still take time to comment on everything RTV - it's cheaper than therapy!
You can contact Eleanor at ifyouaskme@msn.com
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