The Benefactor: Episode 4
Pity The Kid
Recap By C.C. McCandless
October 5, 2004
We're down to the final six contestants competing for Mark Cuban's cold, hard cash on The Benefactor and the lucky few remaining are starting to think about the big prize. Kevin admitted that he's never taken a vacation in his life. And I think it's safe to say that win or lose, this guy will be getting an all-expenses paid trip to appear on Oprah's show at some point, given the way he shamelessly drops her name every week.
Today's challenge gave the players a little insight into one aspect of Cuban's business life…sort of. They had to select a three person team of players for a glorified game of HORSE, a playground basketball shooting game. The rules for team selection were pretty simple: no professionals, one man, one woman, and one child twelve or under. That's it.
Team Silver consisted of Femia, Dominic, and Tiffaney, leaving Linda, Spencer, and Kevin on Team Blue. Everyone was happy with how this played out, as they had all worked together last time.
Linda immediately assumed a leadership role for her squad, based on her athletic background. "I like to be the one who says what's going on," she stated. Her nemesis Femia emerged as the other team's leader, and they tossed a couple of insults behind each other's backs before heading off to scour Dallas for hoops players. Team Silver wandered into a veritable treasure trove of a rec center, where they almost immediately secured the services of three team members that all looked pretty solid. Things didn't go as smoothly for Team Blue, as they literally wandered the streets, asking people if they played basketball. Which is probably what the Dallas Mavericks actually did before Mark Cuban bought the team, based on their record in the early 90's.
Team Blue finally arrived at a posh-looking athletic club, where an employee tried to sell himself as a player before putting on a bricklaying clinic when asked to audition. Spencer found their kid there, a scrawny ten year old that could shoot a little bit. They also lined up their woman selection with a phone call, and then rounded out the squad with a Foot Locker employee who dribbled once or twice in the street to show off his skills. In short, their squad isn't exactly shaping up like the '86 Boston Celtics.
Things are not looking good for Team Blue, and Cuban agreed. "How do you go into a shooting game not having seen your players shoot?" The game took place at the American Airlines Center, home to the Mavericks, complete with cheerleaders, rousing introductions over the arena PA, and all the pressure of playing on an NBA floor. "Welcome to my board room," Cuban said from the center of the court. He went on to explain that the game would be called LOSER, with each team getting a letter for every miss. "It's like a game of horse, only I pick the shots," he added.
Team Silver blazed out to a quick lead behind solid shooting from Bernard and Amy. And did anyone check the ID on Junior, their kid? Because he looks like he's got about five years and 50 pounds on poor Lucas from Team Blue. With an L-O-S-E to L lead, Silver started trash-talking. Team Blue rallied back, evening the score, much to the chagrin of Femia, Dominic, and Tiffaney. "Team Beautiful started looking like Team Haggard," Cuban observed. It came down to a shot from the top of the key with the two youngsters, naturally, under pressure. Big Junior tossed up an air ball, giving Silver a chance for the miracle upset…until Lucas also failed to draw iron. On his second attempt, Big Junior drained the trifecta. Could Lucas match it? His shot was right on target, long enough, rolling agonizingly around the rim…and rattling out. Folks, this shot bounced around the hoop longer than Ollie's climactic free throw for Hickory High. Team Silver hung on for the win, letting Linda explain how she's a good loser in the same breath that she said she wants to kick someone's ass on the other team simply because she can.
The house lights went black as the defeated Team Blue met Cuban under a spotlight at center court. Would this be a quick and painless eviction? Of course not. The Benefactor revealed that he had a name written in a sealed envelope. But first, he threw a bribe out on to the table: $10,000 for any one of them to walk away. They all declined. Impressed, he upped the offer to $20,000. And we're talking about bricks of Benjamins tossed at their feet, making it even more tantalizing and real. Linda, Kevin, and Spencer deliberated a little longer this time, but again they all passed. So what did Cuban do? He did what every reality show says that it does…but in this case, it actually applies: he raised the stakes again, tossing out another wad of dough, making the bribe offer $30,000.
And Kevin took it. And who knows how much more he'll get on his inevitable Oprah appearance. I mean, come on, the lady gives away cars like Halloween candy, so it's hard to imagine what she'll do for a diehard fan like him. But he's out of the game, and he's taking thirty grand with him. Cuban then revealed that Kevin had saved Spencer, who "took the short cuts…he took the easy way out." Over dinner, Cuban threw another twist their way. "I wasn't just going to let them go to bed and have an easy night," he said. He revealed that of the five people remaining, four would compete in a two-on-two competition of some sort…and would pick their own teams. The odd person out, it seems, will be gone.
Linda and Spencer quickly agreed to stay together, leaving Dominic, Tiffaney, and Femia to battle it out for the final two spots. They tossed out every single decision making idea known to man-random numbers, rock-paper-scissors, shortest straw-before ultimately deciding to do it the right way…by playing Jenga. Dominic the rock star lost in brutal fashion and didn't seem upset at all. "That's the way it goes, dude," he explained. So it looks like he'll be packing his bags and taking his broken guitar home next time. Although on this show, anything can happen.
C.C. McCandless is an independent filmmaker and freelance writer. He has a Bachelor’s degree in broadcasting from the Walter Cronkite School of Journalism and Mass Communication at Arizona State University.
You can contact C.C. here: ccmcc33@msn.com
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