My Big Fat Obnoxious Boss - Episode 2
Mansions, Trophy Wives and Chicken Soup
By Evan D. Baltz
November 15, 2004
This week begins with Robert (aka the short guy) coming back to the suite, ala The Apprentice, and the rest of group asking him what happened in the boardroom. Robert tells them the boss' catch phrase is, "Get the hell out of my office." He also then tells the group that Mr. Paul called him short. They wonder about that and what that had to do with his performance in the last challenge.
Six lucky contestants are given a special tour of N. Paul's Chicago mansion. The actor tells us he had in fact never even seen the place the show rented for the day until that morning. N. Paul introduces the group to his "daughter" Danielle and "wife" Lynne, who of course are both actors as well. The group doesn't think much of them saying that the daughter is like a less bright Paris Hilton and the wife a trophy.
As they go through the huge mansion room by room, N. Paul and Lynne make up stuff about artwork to impress the group. He says that a sword on display is Excalibur. She says two vases came from Napoleon.
In a fireside room, N. Paul shows the group his first million. He has it in a plastic case on display. Then he shows them how it is guarded by a laser web. But the million is just a few $100 bills glued to the face of the plastic box and the laser net is just some of those cheap laser pointers.
At one point, Kerri decided to make a stupid statement. She said, "Do you know what looks good in this house? Me." The actress playing the wife Lynne said that she was shocked by that kind of statement. Not as the fake wife, but as a real person. Who says stuff like that?
After the tour, the group is told what their next challenge will be. Robert is made the boss of the men's team and Annette is the boss of the women's team. Each team will have to sell hot soup. Oh, and it is July in Chicago. They keep telling us how hot and humid it is, but we can see that girls are clearly shivering at several points and goose bumps are visible on their arms as they await the final instructions.
Before they can begin, the right hand man of N. Paul gives individuals a little salesman test. He walks up to different team members and says, "I am an Eskimo, sell me ice." They stumble and mumble and he shoots their dumb ideas and sales pitch down. Then he proceeds to the next person and says, "I am the devil, sell me fire." It was one of the more funny scenes, watching the young plebes squirm as they attempted to perform well during the fake test.
As the teams proceed into the streets to sell hot chicken soup, the guy's team believes that it will be unable to win because of the sex-appeal factor again, so several guys follow the girl's soup cart attempting to sabotage their efforts. Both teams appear to actually be doing quite well, so the producers send in guys selling cold Italian ice. These vendors upset the teams. Christi suggests that the women go in front of Wendy's and try to sell there. The men suggest that the ice vendors get lost or else.
For the men, the big seller was David posing as an Abercrombie model. This attracted quite a few women to the soup cart.
At the results meeting, the girls talk about how they hate Jamie the female executive. The guys think that the right hand man is a little too interested in the guy's sex-appeal. In the end, the women's profit was $431 and the men's profit was $521. The men win! N. Paul says that means "One of you broads is going home." They all act shocked at this politically incorrect statement, as the guys chuckle and we at home laugh.
In the boardroom meeting, N. Paul attempts to confuse the girls by giving out false information about what went on. He talks about events that didn't happen and attributes ideas to wrong people. He even pretends to not know what some of their names are. During the meeting he even receives a call from his wife on his cell phone.
It comes down to Kerri and Christi (who my wife swears is the same Kristi from the first season of The Apprentice. There is a physical resemblance, but I pointed out they spell their names differently and are said to be from different cities). N. Paul asks Kerri why he should HIRE Christi. She comes up with some backhanded ideas. Then he turns to Christi and asks her why he should FIRE Kerri. They are all confused by this. He dismisses them and visits the real boss (who, as I said last week, I believe is a coin). When he returns and brings the girls back in, he tells Christi to "get the hell out of my office."
The show definitely has a Joe Schmo feel to it, albeit not quite as consistently funny. It plays like a series of jabs at the Donald Trump persona. Although, I am wondering when they will get to some hair jokes. Stay tuned.
Evan is a Web Designer and Corporate Training Specialist by day, and a Reality TV junky, author, and movie reviewer by night.
You can write to Evan at RealEvan@RealityTVCalendar.com
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