My Big Fat Obnoxious Boss - Episode 4
You're Dismissed
By Evan D. Baltz
December 6, 2004
Whitney survived the tense boardroom last week (actually two weeks ago, who knows why FOX decided not to air the show last week) whilst dressed like a frog. She returns to the penthouse suite still donning the costume. The other folks aren't sure who is beneath the suit, so the tension builds to a dramatic crescendo. No not really. It was just kind of a dumb stunt by someone who seems to have the propensity for those kinds of things. When the rest of the group sees that it is Whitney, the women react with some glee, knowing that they don't have to put up with the "witch" any more. The men begin to talk about how Whitney is only getting by on her looks and her two best friends.
As day 11 begins, we know that Whitney will be the team boss for team Femron. The guys select Dave team boss. The guys are on a serious mission to keep winning.
N. Paul Todd has the teams assemble at a Chicago area flea market. He decides that it is time to reshuffle the teams. His idea is to rearrange them by good looks. So he and his two executive flunkies spend about 20 minutes switching people back and forth until they come up with what they believe is some kind of attractiveness balance. Of course none of the people know what any of that means.
Mr. Todd then informs them that the challenge will be sales related. In the business world, "You should be able to sell a crap sandwich with a side of crap and a crapsicle." Ah words of wisdom. The challenge consists of them attempting to sell really stupid, crappy products such as, Ecopons-ecologically safe tampons, Reusable toilet paper, cans of clean air, and carb reducer spray-which of course doesn't work.
As the new teams split up, Rob says he doesn't want to do it because he has ethical problems selling bogus products. No one else seems to have much a problem though. Rob calls N. Paul, "F. Paul Todd."
The team with Whitney decides to sell the Ecopons to men, telling them that they will increase the woman's libido. They also say the product will get rid of the odor. Then Whitney and her teammate dress up in sexy clothes and begin to pitch their wares. Whitney pretends to be Jessica Simpson's older sister. Then she takes off her shirt and walks around in her bra. She is even willing to do jumping jacks in front of a gawking loser just for a sale. Didn't she watch the last episode of The Apprentice? It didn't work for Ivana when she took off her skirt. These "business" women aren't really giving us a great impression of women.
The guys on Whitney's team joke about how they are just "pimping" the girls. Nice.
The teams attempt to sell the reusable toilet paper as "multi-purpose" tissue. Whitney and her boobs sell 18 rolls to the horny guys in the booth next to them, just as the time for the challenge expires.
As the teams assemble to hear the verdict, N. Paul enters, has one look at Whitney and says he is having a hard time concentrating. She smiles. She is so proud of herself and her assets. Femron made a profit of $653 and Concad only $439. Whitney's boobs win!
The winning team is taken to a fancy restaurant and given a beautiful dinner. The losing team is sent to an abandoned aqueduct and made to eat bologna sandwiches. They are also tasked with coming up with a new phrase for N. Paul to use to fire people. Oh, and they are also to come up with a matching gesture to go with the phrase. Of course all of this is a direct poke at Trump.
In the boardroom, N. Paul says that if you have "breasts instead of brains you should use them." Apparently Whitney has taken that advice to heart. The new catch phrases the team has come up with are:
"You're gone!" with a cut throat motion.
"Ding dong the door is for you."
"It's not me, it's you."
"Your dismissed."
"Hit the streets kid."
N. Paul and his associates don't react to any of these suggestions.
David selects Kerry and Tanya to return to the boardroom, making sure that one woman will be eliminated. When they return, N. Paul turns his chair away from both of them, pauses for a long, long time, then says, "Who cares?" Kerry speaks up giving some bogus speech about how "she cares." Then he says, "So what?" Tanya gives a speech about why it matters. Both responses were complete drivel.
N. Paul exits to get the answer from the mystery boss, then returns. He says there is good news and bad news. The good news is he is going to use one of the new catch phrases. The bad news is he is going to fire someone with it. He looks at Tanya, and using her catch phrase he points at her and says, "You're dismissed."
As she exits the building, Tanya says that she isn't interested in "business" anymore. It's just not worth it. Meanwhile, Whitney is probably waxing them up for next week's competition.
Evan is a Web Designer and Corporate Training Specialist by day, and a Reality TV junky, author, and movie reviewer by night.
You can write to Evan at RealEvan@RealityTVCalendar.com
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