My Big Fat Obnoxious Boss - Episode 5
This is FOX, Of Course There Is Sex
By Evan D. Baltz
December 13, 2004
The episode opens with the girls strutting around the house in various examples of pajamas, robes, nighties, etc…Not sure why any of that was in there, wait; this is FOX, now it is all clear to me. As day 14 of the adventure begins, Rory and Scout fight over…wait; too much Survivor for me last night. The members of the penthouse are told they will be going to a corporate retreat. The women erupt with gladness as this news. It seems like in all reality shows, women have a difficult time keeping their excitement at a normal level. They are always jumping and screaming with glee when something is announced. They scream and jump when they win. They scream and jump when they are told of a trip. They scream and jump when…wait…why am I complaining about jumping women?
As they arrive at the "corporate camp" it appears to be a mansion. For the first night they are treated to a Japanese style dinner with the boss.
N. Paul Todd tells them in the tradition of the Japanese they will draw hypnotic cartoons. No, not actually, they will in fact be allowed for this night only to speak their minds and tell N. Paul what they REALLY think of him, with no consequences. This actually sounds like a fun exercise. Does anyone want to suggest it to their boss? Me thinks that there are very few bosses in the world that could handle it (image of Jack Nicholson flashes in my head).
The young wannabes don't seem to have any problem coming up with various things about their boss they don't like. David says he thinks N. Paul is all about the money. N. Paul responds, "So basically I am a greed driven whore? Thank you, I appreciate that." Robert admits that he called N. Paul; F. Paul after the guys got stood up at the golf course. "Thank you, I appreciate that" responds N. Paul. In fact that is how N. Paul responds to everyone's complaints. They are all not sure what to make of it. The actor tells us that his character N. Paul is about to teach the youngsters a lesson, "Payback is a bitch."
The next day N. Paul spends time with the guys. First they grill out a nice lunch. As the guys chew the fat and filet, N. Paul asks them how they can handle being around all the hot chicks. He makes several comments about "their bodies." He gives the impression he is quite the babe hound. He also asks about Whitney, "Are those enhanced?" They all respond in the affirmative. Someone even announces, "I have seen and felt them." Before we can explore that comment more, N. Paul's executive David changes the subject by asking Damien what he eats before he works out. David has been showing his affections for Damien in a subplot joke since the beginning of the show.
After lunch the guys play some basketball. N. Paul pretends to only be a mediocre player. He in real life was a semi-pro basketball player. After the group game he challenges anyone to a $1000 game of 1 on 1. The only taker is David, with the help of Robert's chipped in $500. N. Paul allows David to stay in the game for awhile, but then at about the midpoint, he starts talking trash. He calls David a girl. He asks if David needs some Ecopons. The boss turns it on and wins the game fairly easily.
The next day they finally come to the paintball challenge. Each team selects a leader and then must walk through a business obstacle course while being drilled with a high-speed paintball gun, wielded of course by the boss himself. As Femron goes through the gauntlet of yellow paintballs, their leader only gets hit once. Concad follows and their leader is also only hit once. All of the contestants complain about how much it hurts to get hit by the paint balls. For a tiebreaker, each team must select one person to shoot 10 shots at a distant briefcase. The one who hits it the most times will win. Concad chooses Rob, and Femron chooses Mike. Mike connects 5 times and Rob just 4.
Concad is summoned to the boardroom to face the music. But first things first. N. Paul collects his $1000 from Mike and David. He says, "It was like taking candy from a baby." Then N. Paul gives his corporate wisdom for the week. "The people I mistrust the most, I trust the most because I can trust that they are to be mistrusted." The folks of Concad display puzzled faces.
Kerry then picks her two who must stay in the boardroom. She selects David and Robert. They are told they must answer N. Paul's questions in 5 words or less. He asks each of them for a mission statement. They pause and then come up with stupid little statements. N. Paul asks them some more questions and they answer again with 5 words. Actually I thought they did a pretty good job coming up with decent short sentences. After all, brevity is the soul of wit.
N. Paul then consults the real boss and comes back with his decision. But before he renders it, he says that both David and Robert must now listen to his criticism and they can only respond with, "Thank you, I appreciate that."
Then N. Paul looks at them both and says, "Robert, get the hell out of my office."
On his way out, Robert warns N. Paul that if he ever has a paintball gun, N. Paul better watch out.
Okay so summary in 5 words or less?
This episode saw Robert leave.
Bosses can't handle the truth.
FOX always works in sex.
'Boss' is often quite funny.
Whitney's boobs are surely enhanced.
Paintballs hurt when hitting you.
The Japanese have interesting customs
What will the next week bring us? It looks like N. Paul's wife reappears.
Evan is a Web Designer and Corporate Training Specialist by day, and a Reality TV junky, author, and movie reviewer by night.
You can write to Evan at RealEvan@RealityTVCalendar.com
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