Extreme Makeover: Wedding Edition
The Garlett - Riordan Wedding
Recap By J. G. Bird
May 12, 2005
Extreme Makeover: Wedding Edition Premiered Monday, May 9 on ABC following The Bachelor. It’s odd to me how hard you have to search the ABC website for the EM:WE page. I suppose it’s because the next episode isn’t scheduled yet. Rather than a full-blown recap, allow me to offer for now just a short, but straight-forward opinion. It’s nice to see something spectacular happen for a deserving couple. That said, only the last ten minutes of the show was worth watching. The couple is married in a circular arena with coliseum-size double doors constructed in just 3 days at the City of Hope (Duarte, Ca). The interior is lit with a thousand candles studded along the draped walls. Once the ceremony is concluded, “Christmas in New York” is the theme for the reception and Liza Minnelli serenades the newlyweds not far from Kristi Yamaguchi on the “Rockefeller Plaza” ice rink. Joyous recollections from grateful family members are the taped filler.
The “I Do” crew is comprised of six personalities. I wasn’t that interested in looking up their full names, or what they may have done previously. The group has a nice spokesperson in Stephanie, who seems like a cross between an ambitious lawyer and a smiling flight attendant. The other woman on the crew, Joann, is in charge of fashion, I guess. I can picture Joann having panic attacks every episode, or having to surgically have her cell phone removed from the side of her face some day. Steve and Scott, Joel and Eric are respectively, the Ringmaster and the Strongman (and I do mean circus-types), the thoroughly bagged-upon Carpenter and the Kitchen Boy. (And trust me, “Kitchen Boy” gets almost no airtime. I’m sure he’s a fine chef, but how do you even show that if - at no point - are you shown the food? Not even the cake, folks! Serious.
I read a nice press release about the Tacori rings given to Groom Kyle Garlett and Bride Carrie Riordan. The attendants wore diamonds too, showing off a new line of wedding-related accessories. The sad truth is, the makeup and hair styling products got more mention. Even Ty Pennington Style got a plug when the “I Do” crew and the couple landed at Sears for a pre-wedding shopping spree. Other nice things were gifted specifically to Kyle: A dance lesson from a professional choreographer, and a writing job for the currently unemployed sports columnist. His battle with Hodgkin’s disease and Leukemia secondary to his chemotherapy treatments over the years has weakened his heart. This story and his loving Carrie agreeing to be his bride for better or for worse allow us some clue into the “amazing but true” love stories needed to propel this show.
That’s the highlights of the show. You know the couple about as well as they can describe their own tragedy. You see friends and family, but there’s no time to get into their heads. The rest of the time is the “I Do” crew sniping at and about each other. This is all the stuff most want to forget about when pulling a wedding together. If you survive the stress, and make it to the blessed day – the main component focused on in this first-time show is what you will forget.
About J.G. Bird
I have a direct, clear writing style useful in business, but if you wonder what I'm really thinking about, I keep a portfolio of creative writing on Writing.com/authors/walkinbird. My day-to day work is at a great metropolitan newspaper, proofreading ordered advertisements. Keeping an experienced eye to consistency in design elements also makes me an obnoxious, if not valuable, web editor and fact-checker. Due to my straight-laced demeanor, I need the occasional infusion of Reality TV. The home design shows are my only true addiction. I can be contacted at: walkinbird@writing.com
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