Rewarding The Criminally Boring
Recap by Counselor Shawn
June 15, 2005
I am not going to bore you with all the shenanigans that occurred during all four skits tonight on Fire Me…Please. What I will do is give you a rundown of what occurred and highlight the good parts of each. I interviewed Rob Little (one of tonight’s competitors) last week and tonight we got to watch him on the show. By now everyone has heard that CBS is full of it with these people not being trained actors, comedians, theatre or dramatic performers. Rob Little as we all can see by his interview and website is an experienced comedian and has several stints on several shows. I particularly laughed out loud tonight when they were describing the jobs of each competitor, Rob’s especially. They said Rob took time out from Internet Development? You mean touring the country as a comedian, being on The Best Damn Sports Show, The Dr. Drew Show etc. right CBS? I think somebody at CBS needs fired…please? Here’s an idea, take $25,000.00 and get a new PR person. While you’re at it, get anyone instead of Dave Holmes to host this show.
First up tonight we meet Cat and Dave. Cat is hired to work at BLUSH a clothing Boutique and Dave is hired to work at Romancing The Bean a coffeehouse. Next to each contestants name you will see a letter grade as to how I feel their laugh ability and performance played out to viewers.
CAT: B-
Cat begins working at BLUSH and meets her boss. The boss is a germ phobic; she hates tardiness and doesn’t like someone being untidy. Cat has two co-workers, Kelly and Jessica. Throughout the day Cat sings songs, tags clothes making weird noises, repeatedly tries to sell customers a denim jumpsuit and drives her co-workers and boss to the point of thinking she is a “circus freak.” This in part is due to Cat singing circus music. While Cat is on lunch break the other workers debate whether she is normal, on drugs, a circus freak or just plain weird. When Cat returns from lunch the boss speaks to her privately explaining that she is too aggressive and needs to calm it down. Cat biding time says she will use the boss as a role model. Cat then suggests the employees do rounds of Row, Row, Row Your Boat. The idea of course doesn’t fly and is shot down. Cat continues to act very odd by sniffing her arm pits and taps a pen noisily on the counter. Noticing the time, Cat steps her game up and begins going for the boss’ phobia’s and begins sneezing into her hands and not washing them and sneezing on a pile of sweaters. Her last trick is too sing very loudly and telling her boss she just can’t control the singing. The boss fires her.
DAVE: C-
Dave begins working at Romancing The Bean, a coffeehouse. He meets his boss who hates laziness and overly chatty people. Dave meets his co-workers Greg and Amelia. The boss immediately has Dave sit down and study the menu. Dave doesn’t study of course and when the boss asks him what is in a Spinach-Feta sandwich, he tells her he doesn’t know. She tells him to study it more. Dave goes and gets a newspaper and begins reading. Later, Dave mentions food breaks and acts very put off by the rules. Dave then samples the food to familiarize himself with the menu. Dave then goes for poor Greg who he digs at about his ex-girlfriend. Dave decides to nickname Greg “Sly Dog.” As Greg attempts to train Dave about the cash register, Dave goes off on some sap story about his dead grandfather and says he needs to get a drink. He returns and as Greg begins he goes to get another drink, and does it a third time. Greg just calmly stretches and waits. Dave later notices that the boss is looking at pictures with a customer and tells Greg that she is looking at pictures while they are busy working and that it isn’t fair. Dave treads thin ice when the boss jumps his butt for not being motivated. Dave bides time. As the clock is ticking toward the end Dave decides to pick an argument with the boss and she tells him to lower his voice. Dave insists loudly and she tells him to walk out and think about it. Dave goes at her about returning the next day and she fires him telling him not to return.
Both contestants meet with Dave Holmes who tells them their times. Dave-2:39 and Cat-2:52. Cat wins $25,000.00
The next two contestants are Rob and Mary....
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