Growing Up Gotti: Episode 6 Recap
2 Fast 2 Furious 2 Phony
By Eleanor Meilinger
September 14, 2004
Victoria is throwing a dinner party. She leaves everything till the last minute and puts her faith in her trusty assistants Jen and Jeff (The Gilligan of this shipwreck) who surprisingly screw it up. She stresses. She rants. She wears white outfits and changes into black - and for variety a black AND white evening gown. The boys get 4 1/2 minutes of face time. Frankie pulls a stunt that is written off as "Boys will be boys" but would be considered criminal in any other venue. In the end it all works out. Tomorrow's another day…
Oh, I am so tempted to leave it at that.
I feel like a 10-year-old making excuses for not doing their homework. I offered my daughter $20 to finish watching the episode last night so I could do something less painful - like a Brazilian Wax.
I offered my husband "favors", but Monday Night Football was on. I probably could have used the above, which I wrote during the first commercial. It pretty much summed up what happened over the next 25 minutes anyway. If there is anyone over the age of 16 still watching this show please let me know. I'd like to think that I am suffering through this farce for some legitimate reason. I tried to give Growing Up Gotti the benefit of the doubt, but I think the final disillusionment set in when that elevator rose through the floor last week. Nothing short of a miracle will rekindle my interest. For the girls who are still watching patiently, hoping for some sign that one of the Gotti boys is "The One" for them, I will fulfill my obligations…
Victoria informs us that it is time to throw a dinner party for her boss at The Star who could not look less enthused at the prospect. After many phone calls she manages to wrangle 18 guests (I bet with her new-found celebrity status she would be able to round-up at least 24 today). She explains that around the Gotti house dinner is the most important meal of the day. Don't the mighty live so differently from the rest of us mere mortals? She leaves 12 hours to cook and prepare for her guests. Talk about self-induced crisis! In order to complete the myriad of tasks before her she calls upon her "trusty assistants" - the newly hired PA, Jen, and her faithful driver, Jeff, of the Miami fame. Nothing like calling in the experts. The editing of the show is becoming more and more chaotic - I suppose to create a sense of urgency - but the snippets of conversation that they choose to include make everyone seem so loony that I have to wonder what perception they are really trying to create. Victoria has told everyone she is cooking the meal, her famous Gotti Beef Wellington (she does manage to work the name into just about every frame) but as for the rest we see her shopping with Jeff at a gourmet food store where she purchases Broccoli Rabe and Grilled Asparagus, an item that will later be the subject of a mysterious disappearance - thus another nerve racking crisis at chez Gotti. Jeff is handed a list and told to purchase 20 plates and 20 glasses after taking the groceries home. His blank expression informs us how well he will handle this assignment. We know that somewhere along the line he loses 2 ½ lbs of grilled asparagus. We never see how much detailed information (if any) is included on the list, but the ensuing snafu comes as no great surprise. Let's just say after pooling their resources and making 12 phone calls to Victoria at work (which pisses off the boss she is attempting to impress) Jen and Jeff manage to come up with NOTHING. The level of stupidity involved in this entire transaction does not bear repeating. Editing could not make this any less inane.
In another brilliant stroke of planning we are reintroduced to Luigi, the handyman from the first episode. He is still working around the house trying to get it ready for sale. I really think he is working undercover for Carmine Agnello, Vicky's ex, and his assignment is to insure that house never gets sold. Today he has been recruited to assemble Frankie's basketball hoop. He will also play a starring role in the dinner party later on, but for now we get to see him procrastinate and Frankie whine, activities they are both proficient in. After a call to "Maaaaa", Luigi reluctantly begins to work on the project. Once again the ensuing scenes are reminiscent of "The Three Stooges". Suffice it to say that the hoop remains in pieces in the driveway, Frankie's bedroom door is destroyed and left off the hinges, the floor project Luigi was working on when first approached to put up the hoop looks like it was a victim of an elephant stampede and Luigi promises to fix it all the following day. He has more important things to attend to, namely grooming himself for that night's festivities. Yes, it turns out that the handyman is to be one of the honored guests at the exclusive Gotti soiree. So the house and grounds are left in shambles in order for Luigi to get into his tuxedo. There are a few minutes of the boys looking perplexed, angry or indifferent during this time but since their charms are lost on me I cannot distinguish any of these 'highlights' of the day's preparations. Sorry girls.
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