Joe Schmo 2: Episode 2
Mentally Challenged Birds And Dipping Your Wick
Recap By C.C. McCandless
June 23, 2004
Episode two of The Joe Schmo Show began right where the premiere left off-with Jane Schmo Ingrid smelling a rat. This time she went so far as mentioning the possibility of being in a situation where she is made to look foolish. The producers listened intently and scrambled to get Tim isolated from her. Immediately, they began considering their options, and realized there were only two choices: evict Ingrid from the show, or continue the elaborate ruse and attempt to manage the situation. And they were faced with this momentous choice on day two. In the end, cooler heads prevailed. In other words…on with the Schmo. Ambrosia began to assert her "bitch" personality by getting into an early spat with Ingrid. Their disagreement was completely fabricated out of nothing, and Ingrid found it quite amusing that she was involved in the house's first true drama.
Meanwhile, stalker Bryce demonstrated his hypnotist technique on Tim and T.J., who played along for their own enjoyment, as they scratched themselves whenever Bryce said the words "dog paddle." Tim was not impressed by Bryce's attempts at all, stating "what a douche bag." Succinct and to the point.
Montecore soon arrived with another Falcon Twist. Behind the scenes pieces showed that the falcon is, in fact, insane and possibly suicidal, as he hilariously careened into windows and doors in one take after another. Host Derek Newcastle isn't supposed to be getting along with Montecore, and it appeared that this was not much of an acting challenge for Ralph Garman. Montecore revealed that the contestants would perform in a poolside challenge dubbed "Strike a Pose," in which they had to hold a specific uncomfortable position, with the winner claiming an exotic trip to Costa Rica. Ambrosia prevailed in the rigged challenge, although Ingrid lasted nearly as long despite being intentionally given one of the more back-breaking poses. Tim folded like a pizza box once Cammy began to distract him by jumping up and down in front of him, giving him an ample display of both Baskin and Robbins, the pet names for her…well, you can figure it out.
The next stop was at a winery (actually just a garage), giving Ernie the heir ample opportunities to spout off about how much he knows. Not much action took place in the event there, as the group members paired off and stomped on grapes in barrels. Austin the bachelor began to take a keen interest in Cammy, allowing Eleanor to begin to develop her "weeper" personality. Ingrid clearly felt for Eleanor and comforted her. Bryce continued to build on his role as a stalker, as he cast evil glares towards bachelorette Piper during the event.
Then came the night's eviction ceremony. This was the first one for the men, and obviously it would be nearly impossible to top the absurdity and high comedy of the pearl necklace ceremony. But they sure tried, offering up a ceremony called Flame of Love. The men lined up with each one holding a large, cylindrical candle at their waist. As the men stood with their "candles erect," Piper looked them over and made her choices about who would remain. "She will dip your wick in her flame of love," Derek explained eloquently. One at a time, Piper called up all of the men except for Ernie, asking each to "please present your wick." Ernie was evicted as an open homage to Average Joe, in which the funny, smart guys are never picked if they happen to be carrying a few extra pounds. Thus, Ernie was sent to hoof it down the Trail of Tears. "Your wick is cold," Derek told him, "and so is your place in Piper's heart."
Next week's previews make it clear that Ingrid is still skeptical about the proceedings and Tim might be smartening up as well. There's still a lot of Schmo to go, but watching the producers genuinely squirm so much adds a new and exciting element to this season. Another factor to consider is one rumor already burning up some message boards-that Tim and Ingrid are actually actors as well, and that the viewers are the ones being played. We'll have to think about that again next week.
If you missed Tuesday nights show you can catch an encore performance on Sunday night at 8 e/p on Spike.
Tonight (Wednesday, June 23th) at 9 e/p Spike TV will host an online chat with evicted "Ernie the Heir," actor Steve Mallory. You can visit Spike TV by clicking here.
C.C. McCandless is an independent filmmaker and freelance writer. He has a Bachelor’s degree in broadcasting from the Walter Cronkite School of Journalism and Mass Communication at Arizona State University.
