Joe Schmo 2: Episode 5
Cammy Gets Porked…and Beans
Recap By C.C. McCandless
July 13, 2004
They've talked about it all season. They teased it in the previews last week. And tonight, finally…Spike TV and Joe Schmo delivered. I'm talking, of course, about a video clip of Cammy's magnificent performance in the soft core food fetish film classic, "Porked and Beans."
But I'm getting ahead of myself. The show began with host Derek Newcastle serving up a "big old platter of controversy" by asking each of the contestants to name the person that they thought was least compatible with Piper or Austin. Gerald and Eleanor were the choices, to nobody's surprise except Eleanor who, shocker, got weepy and sensitive. But she would be rewarded, as it turns out that the two actually won some alone time with the bachelor and bachelorette for being chosen by their peers.
"Just when you've all gotten comfortable, the grim reaper of change makes an appearance," said Derek, signaling another Falcon Twist. However, it got immediately called off when it was revealed that Ingrid's grandfather had passed away. Except, this is Joe Schmo so, in fact, he hadn't…despite the fact that the man is actually 102 years old. In an interview, Ingrid apologized to her gramps for the gag, saying that she was thinking of him "if you're still alive when this comes out." Classic. Derek then announced that Austin had requested that Ingrid receive the private time, so that he could console her. Eleanor got all misty-eyed again but relented and gave her time to Ingrid.
I told you last week that we hadn't heard the last of Bryce the stalker and he proved me right. Outside, a plane flew overhead, towing a banner that read "P Forgive me? - B." Tim found this amazingly creepy, while Piper played it as if she felt like she had made a mistake evicting poor Bryce. Everyone soaked this in for a few moments until it was challenge time. Two tickets to Cozumel would be on the line for a series of tasks entitled "Love is a Battlefield." Naturally, each one was absolutely ridiculous. The contestants were paired up and found out that they would be competing against a couple of female models brought in just for the challenge. Joe Schmo sure does find a lot of ways to work hot, scantily-clad models into the show and I think it's safe to say that, in the history of television, this is a tactic that has never hurt anyone's ratings.
