Joe Schmo 2: Episode 6
Pumper Size Thigh and Bun Blaster
Recap By C.C. McCandless
July 20, 2004
"Things couldn't be going better and they're only getting crazier." These were the words of Joe Schmo's executive producer at the start of this week's episode and I could not agree with him more. Ingrid's flip and the addition of Amanda, the new Jane Schmo, have given the entire show an unexpected shot of adrenalin and a freedom that we haven't seen before. The players now know that they have nothing to lose and they are ratcheting up the comedy and the absurdity to dizzying heights with each subsequent episode. They also look like they're having more fun than ever before. So are the viewers.
This week's show started by sorting out all of the details of "Grandpagate" from last week. Austin evicted Ingrid under the assumption that she had lied about her grandfather dying, based on Austin speaking to said dead grandfather when he called Ingrid's home.
But Amanda mentioned that one of Ingrid's grandfathers, in fact, lives with Ingrid's family. So did Ingrid wrongly get the boot? Leave it up to Derek Newcastle to sort things out. Was Tim actually speaking to the assumed dead grandfather? "The answer is an embarrassing 'no,'" said Derek. Thus, Ingrid was welcomed back because of the misunderstanding. "We're all very happy that your grandfather is dead and that you're back in the game," Derek added. And somewhere, Johnny Fairplay is laughing.
Bryce the evicted stalker continued to make his presence felt with yet another banner flyover. "Did you get my first banner?" this one asked. Piper proposed that everyone could lie on the ground to spell out "yes." I liked Tim's suggestion better-that they spell out the letters "F U." Instead, Piper just jumped up and down, waving at the plane in case Bryce was on board. Next, the show took a jab at the blatant product placement that occurs on reality TV, as the contestants were each given a "Pumper Size Thigh and Bun Blaster" to exercise with. Gerald happily offered to oil Tim up before his workout. This whole bit wasn't exactly legendary, as the devices began snapping and breaking almost immediately. Watching everyone attempt to say the name of the product was nearly as funny as how they used it.
After the infomercial debacle, Derek arrived on the scene again. "This glove on my hand…the stink of raw meat in the air…it can only mean one thing." Another Falcon Twist! And this one was a whopper as Derek revealed that Austin and Piper had been a couple for four years before coming on "Last Chance for Love." Apparently, in Derek's words, Austin and Piper's love for each other "went from an episode of The Love Boat to a screening of Titanic." That was the entire twist, although the ramifications would be felt again later.
A producer then arrived to break some bad news to everyone. Everett the frog, who allegedly had been feeling a bit under the weather after being fed a maple-frosted donut by Cammy, had passed on…and it looked like Montecore was to blame. The story was that the two animals had been kept in a trailer together and then "nature ran its course." Later, Cammy felt that everyone should take a moment and say something nice about the frog. Tim was the voice of reason: "hey guys…it's a frog." We can only imagine how Bryce would react…or perhaps we won't have to…
This week's challenge was appropriately called "Hello, dolly," with the winners getting a double date with Austin and Piper. Derek revealed a pair of lifelike and life-size dolls of Austin and Piper, and the contestants would each have to demonstrate if they have "all the right moves or the rhythm of an amputee." The highlight of this scene was definitely Cammy's proposal of a threesome between herself, the Austin doll, and the Piper doll, whom Cammy had dubbed Cassie. Hilarity ensued as Cammy was unable to lift the female doll on top of herself. Sadly, we are left to imagine what Spike TV would have had to blur out if Cammy had the strength to move the female doll. T.J. engaged in some doll toe-sucking, while most of the others simply talked to the dolls as if they were real. Yes, this was as bizarre as it sounds.
