You behave you are rewarded, you misbehave you are punished, easy right?
Intellectually, yes, it's the way things should work in the world, say Nanny Deb and Nanny Stella, but parents often leave logic at the door when they walk inside to deal with their children.
A book, published by Regan Books, archives the experiences the two British women have had in households as part of their Fox television show in which they swoop in and try to establish order in muddled families.
The McCray's' are the family that appears within the beginning chapters of this book about families that are without discipline.
"The boys hit one another, screamed and yelled all day. Tracy (the mother) yelled back. They didn't listen. Eventually, she simply tuned them out, then collapsed, even as her boys were climbing the walls -- literally."
The father would allow the boys to break the rules and would slyly allow the 7 year old to drink coffee.
Nanny Stella introduces them to "time out" and makes it clear that consequences come from actions.
"The McCray's aren't unique in that they react to things on a case-by-case basis, often injecting how they feel on a particular day", Stella states during an interview.
"I don't know if parents have gotten stupid or kids have gotten really smart, but they know you'll give in because you give in because you're tired and frustrated. They know you'll give them chocolate at the grocery store just so you can get through," she says. "We've all made the mistakes."
Consistency is major and is expected to remain constant with all family members. Children do learn by their closest role models, their parents.
"Children have to learn that actions have consequences. Every action has a natural consequence. If you don't take your umbrella and it's raining out, you will get wet. If its cold out and you don't wear a coat, you'll get cold. Remind them that grown-ups have rules, too," she advises. "Tell them that a driver's license comes after a test. If we abuse the privilege of driving a car, and we don't stop at stop signs and go through lots of red lights, we lose that privilege."
"Use yourself as an example.....
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