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The Restaurant 2: Episode 2 Recap
By Randall The Vandal
May 8, 2004
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It's been an interesting week at Rocco's on 22nd Street, and for those of you who may have missed all the comings and goings, let me welcome you to this weeks recap. That includes Rocco himself, who seems as disinterested in his own restaurant as I am during a Celine Dion concert. The yawns will go on and on. But nothing boring about the goings on happening at the Restaurant, so let's get cooking. Sorry, I couldn't resist.
As you all recall, Rocco, upset at Jeffrey's intrusion into his restaurant, ended last week by calling his lawyer. That's how Michael Jackson ended his week, too. Earlier in the week, Rocco had been seen flirting wildly with his female fans. So much for the Michael Jackson comparisons. Oh well. But enough of last week's show, this week promises to be confrontational TV at its best when Jeffrey the owner lets loose his task force of advisors on the restaurant.
Luke, the corporate chef for Jeffrey's empire, pays a visit to the kitchen manager to discuss the unevenness of the payroll. Since there are so many people in this show who look the same, Luke goes out of his way to help us distinguish him from the other overweight people in this show by always wearing his uniform, complete with bandana, to prove that he really is a chef. Thanks Luke! Apparently, the kitchen manager is unaware of any of the employees rates, which probably explains why the payroll is so out of whack. Memo to Rocco: You might want to disclose what each employee earns to the guy who works in payroll. Just a thought.
Sarah talked to the upstairs staff and listened to their advice and suggestions. Luckily, Sarah has a British accent, so she could basically read the phone book and it would sound like a Shakespearean sonnet. Jeffrey, the rich man who insists on wearing clothes from the Bing Crosby Fall Line of 1956, has a conversation with Laurent, the general manager. Laurent should really think about trading Rocco for a chef to be named later in next years draft, but decides against it. Oh wait, he's not that kind of general manager, is he? My bad.
Then there's Drew, the 20 year old intern. I'm no fortune-teller, but I bet everybody in the restaurant is just going to love this guy, am I right? Jeffrey tells Doogie not to interfere, but to only observe. Let's see how that goes! Drew notices an ugly juice-maker that he considers ugly and would like to get removed. Drew also notices Abe Vigoda at the bar and wants him removed as well, but cooler heads prevail.
After a commercial break, we see our first glimpse of Rocco. It sure is nice of him to appear on his own show, huh kids? He's at a public school in Harlem, teaching kids about food and taste buds. Later, the kids will teach him about knife fights and thuganomics, but for right now it's mostly about eating food. Afterwards, Rocco talks to an assistant and rails against Jeffrey and his consultants.
April the bartender is having a tough time with her trainee, who looks uncomfortably like Dan Cortese from MTV Sports. But after a while, doesn't everyone begin to look like Dan Cortese from MTV Sports? Back to you Mark Goodman! They spar over what exactly the new guy should be doing, cleaning up or making drinks. Actually they don't spar, that was just a phrase I used. Had they actually spared, I get the feeling that pretty boy would have come out looking like Fabio after his roller coaster from hell a few years back. Don't mess with April. Or September.
Rocco finally arrives at the restaurant. Better late than never. All the combatants are in place. It's like fight night in Vegas. Where's Michael Buffer when you need him. Rocco ignores Doogie, at the front entrance, although he does give a high-five to Fish at the bar. He embraces his mother warmly, though. Rocco goes down to the kitchen, tells Tony to spice up the pasta, schmoozes with some of the customers and quickly leaves so as not to be late for an interview. Don't complain, Rocco is a busy man, especially since he was named celebrity spokesman for Pier 1 Imports. Carson wuz robbed!
Rocco, fresh off his cameo appearance at his own restaurant, calls in to talk to someone not named Drew. He just can't catch a break today, because Doogie himself answers. Apparently answering the telephone is a difficult skill to learn, and Rocco is angry at Doogie for even attempting this most difficult exercise by himself. Doesn't Rocco realize that he's the youngest doctor in the history of ABC? That he could kick Websters butt any day of the week? Apparently not, but Doogie gets him back by calling him a duche bag as he hands the phone over to the skilled phone-answerer/hostess. Rocco is upset and is ready to get rid of Doogie. Hopefully, Vinnie will save the day. Before Rocco arrives, Doogie has moved from the front of the restaurant to the bar, where he is serving up drinks. Performing double bypass surgery, passing algebra with flying colors, and replacing Dan Cortese behind the bar. Is there anything this young kid can't do? No, unless giving away free drinks isn't on Jeffrey's list of how to save him money. Did I mention that it is illegal for someone under 21 years of age to serve alcohol in New York? Did I mention that I'm growing tired of Doogie? Just checking.
Rocco is back, seeking out Doogie for a heart to heart talk. A very one sided heart to heart talk. Kind of like that episode when he and Vinnie were caught at the all girl college dorm and his dad yelled at him until they made up all with thirty minutes, including commercials. Rocco must have missed that one, because he just fired him on the spot. Never saw that one coming.
The next day, Jeffrey meets with Doogie and expresses his displeasure with the whole 'duche bag' comment and relieves him of his duties. Doogie would have been wise to bring Omarosa and Nick into the board room with him, but it's too late for that now.
That night, both Jeffrey and Rocco are at the restaurant, each schmoozing with patrons, all the while ignoring each others presence. Like Liza and David Gest. Finally, Rocco goes over to Jeffrey's table and they decide to go outside to have a nice warm friendly chat. it doesn't take long before these two are arguing and fighting with each other. Like Liza and David Gest. Accusations fly and before long threats are made, with Jeffrey saying that Rocco has until 6am tomorrow to get on board or he will find a new chef. It's very doubtful that these two will ever make up, and it may be best if they not be around each other. Like Liza and David Gest.
Randall the Vandal, is a humor writer who enjoys writing recaps of the reality shows currently dominating the airwaves. Known for stealing other people's ideas and writing styles, Randall the Vandal has spent many years honing his craft in the finest detention centers across the southeast and is recognized as one of the funniest writers emerging today. At least by his mother. His father refuses to comment.
Email Randall here: randallthevandal2004@yahoo.com
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