As the opening theme music begins to play to start the show, audiences across America are suddenly hit with an epiphany for what life has become like for washed-up celebrities that are desperate for money or screaming for attention or both which they sorely miss by finding themselves right here on this reality show. Season Five of The Surreal Life takes a wildly mismatched group of such celebrities and sticks them in a twisted sociological lab experiment in communal living. That's right; these once pampered celebs must now share bathrooms, bedrooms, chores, and their private lives, all in front of the ever-present cameras.
The SL5 premiered last Sunday night with what promises to be one of the most controversial casts of characters to date. With the demented comedian, Andy Dick, posing as VH1's Surreal Life security guard, the guests are rudely greeted (or tormented if you prefer) in the front of the newly renovated mansion which has been aptly remodeled to represent a three ring circus. A concept, no doubt, dreamed up by the show's producers based upon the ensemble of misfits who make up this show.
Vamping it up in a security guard outfit, complete with nightstick and metal detector, Andy is waiting to frisk, humiliate and irritate everyone that passes his way. First to arrive is Bronson Pinchot. Better known as Balki from the hit TV series, Perfect Strangers, Bronson enters Surreal Life with the intent on shedding whatever nice guy image that he previously had when he was portrayed as a silly foreign dude or as the gay interior designer in Beverly Hills Cop. This is evident when he wastes no time in making snide remarks about the rest of the house guests that he encounters on the first day while sitting in the isolation booth that the show's producers created so cast members would be allowed to share their more intimate thoughts with the viewers..
Next up is our dear ol' friend, Omarosa, the infamous Apprentice villainess. Squeezing every precious second from her fifteen minutes of fame, this self-proclaimed "bad girl that goes everywhere" certainly has done just that by making the most out of getting fired by "The Donald". Omarosa professes in the isolation booth that she received more recognition from being on The Apprentice than most people are able to achieve in their whole career. She also states that she is "much more smarter than Donald Trump." Much more smarter? Heh, it's hard to tell when she's using grammar skills such as this to get her point across. As she makes her way inside the house, you have to laugh at Bronson's description of her after their first meeting when he describes Omarosa as a "photo-op with legs."
Janice Dickinson, the self-titled "world's first supermodel" (or "world's first superbitch", if you let her tell it), makes her way through the front door while leaving a silicone trail which you can't help but notice is oozing from her perfect plastic body. For those true television reality show addicts, you might remember her as one of the judges in America's Next Top Model (which, coincidentally, Adriana of SL4 fame had won before appearing on this show). What makes casting her so juicy will be the inevitable confrontations that she's bound to have with Omarosa, who was kind enough to give Janice a tour of the house whereupon she informed her that they were going to be sharing one of the rooms together. Next scene we have some TV weatherman alerting viewers that Hurricane Janice is now at a category three. Oh this going to be sweet.
The ever-lovely Caprice makes her.....
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