Episode two of the SL5 begins while audiences across America sit and wonder just what exactly will Janice do tonight that will cause her to make another complete ass out of herself.
Well, in no time flat we quickly learn that our heroine will not go anywhere on this great planet of ours unless she has her hair and makeup team with her for company (oh, and to continuously make repairs to her perfect plastic body as well).
Unfortunately, to the detriment of the other house guests' personal hygiene, they also learn that the morning ritual of rebuilding Janice requires at least four hours alone in the bathroom and she is unwilling to share this space with the others. What makes it even more laughable is that there seems to be only two bathrooms in the entire house.
That Janice - she's such a kidder.
The group quickly sprints to the private booth to talk smack about her but it is Omarosa that beats them all to it, which might be because Janice tells her to use the outside garden hose when Omarosa asks to use the shower. The foundation is being laid for the highly anticipated fight of the century between these two and this viewer absolutely loves the buildup to it.
The doorbell rings and we find out that this morning's task will be for Jose to host a book signing for his controversial book, "Juiced", while the other housemates assist. What you're not made aware of is that their "assistance" will also include them having to wear disguises and pretending to be different people that are interested in buying his book since the show's producers couldn't find any real people willing to do it. While getting the house ready for the book signing, Jose briefs the group on what he's going to need from each of them: Cashier, crowd flow, security…but when he mentions the word "security", they're taken aback while Jose explains about the death threats and other incidents that he's been subjected to since the book first came out. Omarosa decides that she's the one who will be in charge much to the chagrin of Bronson who winds up getting in a pissing contest with her. What's amusing is when he corrects Omarosa's pronunciation of the word "awry" when she says "aray" (not surprising for someone who claims to be "much more smarter than Donald Trump").
The next scene has Bronson in the private booth claiming that Omarosa was trying to get him upset just so she would have some juicy tidbits to write about on her personal website. Hmm, that's an interesting observation, Bronson. Do you mean a website just like this one?
Okay, so I was wrong, they actually did find one real person willing to buy Jose's book and show up at the signing. And boy did this guy turn out to be a first class jerk. As the idiot approaches Jose to sign it, he asks him to inscribe, "To Matt, sorry I killed baseball". Jose plays it off by joking that he can't write that while the other house guests look on, shocked at the rudeness and disrespect that these clowns are showing him. But I have to take my hat off to Jose for handling it with some class. His status was elevated in my eyes because even I wanted him to jump up out of his chair and grab the jerk by the throat and shout, "It wasn't me who killed baseball, you idiot, blame Bud Selig!" Even Bronson admires the coolness of Jose when it's all said and done.
Next up, it's time for our misfits.....
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