The Surreal Life is back for a third season on a new network. The first episode's premiere drew 1.7 million viewers for VH1. That is the best debut of any program on the network. They are so thrilled that they have already ordered a fourth season. In addition Surreal Life producers are looking for a way to team breakout stars Flava Flav and Briggette Neilsen in some format....any format.
Let's take a look at the cast that inhabits the third edition of the Surreal Life.
Charo
A pop culture original and master of the flamenco guitar, at 63 she is the oldest houseguest this season. Her claim to fame is being guest on the show The Love Boat 21 times.
Charo is feisty and full of energy; her broken English is often hilarious, she also has a habit of cursing frequently and sometimes the censors miss bleeping her, as in the first episode she referred to Brigitte as a F***ing Bitch. Charo tells it like it is; sparing nobody's feelings, expect her to wrangle with the other houseguests frequently.
Brigitte Nielson
Described as a female action star, most famous for her role in 1985's Red Sonja, which is getting renewed interest as it also stars California Governor, Arnold Schwarzeneggar. She was also a model and married briefly to Sly Stallone, I'm guessing the divorce was not so amicable for her, seeing as how Brigitte did not get enough money in the settlement to pay to get her teeth fixed or liposuction, perhaps Charo can hook her up with a good plastic surgeon after the show, cause whoever did her boobs, should have his license revoked. Brigitte has a fondness for stripping off her clothing, as a matter of fact, fifteen to twenty minutes after meeting her fellow houseguests, she gets half naked and drunk- although I think she had a head start on being intoxicated as she jumped into the pool fully clothed! In the previews of this season's show, we see Brigitte being very friendly with several different men! According to TV Guide she is trying to jumpstart a music career, so I suppose this show is geared to give her more 'exposure'.
Dave Coulier
An actor/comedian most famous for his role as Uncle Joey on Full House. So far he is the funniest person on the show, he pus a hilarious spin on the houseguests antics. Dave selects Flava Flav as a roommate, which should prove to be loads of crazy moments.
Jordan Knight
Former New Kid On The Block, he has also embarked on a solo career. Jordan has gained a couple of extra dozen pounds since his 'Right Stuff' days, apparently he prefers his privacy, and he signed up for this show??? Surely he is joking. Jordan initially comes off as standoffish, so I don't expect too much from him while in the house.
Ryan Starr
Formerly known as Tiffany Montgomery- is an American Idol reject… yawn! Was Trishelle not available again? I don't expect much from her unless she starts drinking or something. I predict Ryan will be a big snooze.
And in saving the best for last….
Flava Flav
Hip Hop pioneer comes complete with extractable gold teeth- a full set! Apparently the 45-year-old Flava has lost touch with a lot of things since his glory days as a sidekick with Public Enemy. He has lost touch with his hairstylist, lost contact with a MIRROR, and apparently there is nobody around to advise him to just say NO! No to appearing on National TV looking like an exhumed corpse!! NO to DRUGS!!! I'm guessing that the only person in his life is a crack dealer! The man is most certainly ON something. Maybe it was the crack dealer that signed the papers to have Flava Flav body's dug out the ground! Flava looks like he has been dead for a while, and somebody came along and pumped a few pointless breathes into him! One thing for sure, Flava Flav will be entertaining!! No doubts about it. After getting over my shock at his appearance, I realized that he might be the lividest person on the show, IF his dealer can keep him supplied! According to previews, he hooks up with Brigitte and gets on Ryan's nerves. Bring it on Flava! With his quirky walk, extractable gold teeth, and his fling with Brigitte, he will make this show MUST SEE TV!!!
AP N Tenn is a Single Southern Female with a BS in Sociology from Lambuth University
that enjoys, shopping, reading, and of course REALITY TV. AP can be reached at Apntenn@yahoo.com.
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