At the camp, the houseguests awake and Adrienne details the sleeping arrangements of her, Jane and Chris, she was in the middle. Adrienne suddenly has feelings for Chris, strong feelings. I guess he snuggles up nicely. Meanwhile Chyna is already into the hard liquor very early in the morning, right at near sunrise. Marcus comments on how much she drinks.
The newspaper arrives, and tells the houseguests to go back to the mansion. Da Brat takes charge on the clean up. She comments that Mini Me as usual does nothing! Back at the house, it is decorated like a spa, and there are massage therapists there. Everyone is all happy. The lead masseuse is named Master, Jane has some reservations, and Da Brat takes no part in the 'crap' that he spews, she just wants her massage. Chris seems to really be into it, he lets out a big fart to break the ice.
Adrienne hops onto the table for her massage complete with her ass showing, for those keeping count, she has exposed some part of herself in 3 of the 4 episodes.
We never see Da Brat getting a massage; all of the massages seem to be unique and different. Chyna admires Marcus, but wants him to get wild, wild as in getting drunk at sunrise? Mini Me who is not getting massaged at the moment, loudly admires Adrienne's exposed butt, he can only admire from afar, as the table is too high for him to reach. Mini Me then begins talking to one of the massage therapists, who happens to be a big fan of Austin Powers movies, Mini Me's claim to fame, he is happy that she is a fan, and feeds off of her being smitten by him, he gets a hug at the end of the massage, and possibly a phone number??
The phone rang and Adrienne gets it, her manager is calling to see if she has hooked up with Marcus yet, as is probably written in some contract somewhere, as was VH-1's plan all along. But surprise surprise, Adrienne tells her manager that she is smitten with a certain Brady, because as she puts it, Marcus would only be good for a bang, and not a life long thing, this all according to Adrienne.
Later on, Chyna and Marcus spend a quiet moment alone together. The houseguests all decide to goto a topless bar. Chris tries to get Mini Me to go, but he has already turned in for the evening, and rudely tells Chris to leave him alone. Chris feels that he is a spoilsport, and that with all of the progress he has made in the 4 days that he has been at the mansion, he has taken twice as many steps backwards. Adrienne is busy spilling the beans about her new found love for Chris with Chyna and Da Brat, or as she refers to him, her Brady man- apparently while growing up she was a big fan of the Brady Bunch, so VH-1 would have gotten the same reaction, if they would have cast Greg Brady.
Anyway Adrienne tells the girls that Chris has stolen her heart and she is really in love. Wait hold up just one minute- are you kidding me? This is clearly an attempt for Adrienne to get a spin off show just as Flava Flav and Brigitte Nelson got last go around. After all, it has only been 4 days and suddenly she is in love, what crap! Da Brat runs to Chris like a high-schooler and asks Chris what his situation is, dating wise. He claims that he only dates, and not exclusively, as he is not in a committed relationship. I wonder if his woman of the moment sitting at home watching is happy with that. Da Brat learns nothing really, and only cause Chris to guess who likes him, I mean come on for all he knows it could be Mini Me.
At the Strip Club, while Marcus and Chyna head off to play a private game of pool, to get to know one another better. Wait just a cotton pickin minute… This is a relationship that would be great to watch in a spin off show. Chyna and Marcus, together they would be must see TV. Are you listening VH-1???
Chris gets 3 of the strippers' attention, and they do an erotic dance, with him as the centerpiece. They undo his shirt, and we see his banging abs. All of this makes the love-struck Adrienne jealous! She even asks to take care of any arousal the erotic dance may have caused. Jane and Chyna share an erotic lap dance, which was weird to say the least. Da Brat was keeping a low profile at the strip club, but she does seem to be enjoying the antics of her housemates.
Adrienne gets a lap dance, she actually borrows some of the money from Chris, and then he demands to be in on the action. While watching he declares that Adrienne is really enjoying it. Adrienne feels that she is doing everything to get Chris's attention. The way I see it, she has done everything in her power to look like a sleazy slut this episode and managed to get most of the airtime, which sucks, because we did not get to see the intimate moments of Chyna and Marcus blooming love.
In an effort to convince Chris she is the slut for him, Adrienne climbs on stage, and gives an erotically trashy dance performance. Chris says that she would make a good stripper. Chris says that he is dying to know who Adrienne really is, judging by tonight's performance, she is a camera -hogging -slut. Da Brat feels that Adrienne is trying to hard. Chris realizing that all of Adrienne's actions are directed at him, but he doesn't know why, and is suspicious of how fast her feelings have developed- a mere 4 days. Newsflash- she wants her own show, so she can hog the camera more. She should have set her sights a little smaller, maybe like towards Mini Me; people probably would watch a 'love' between them on Pay -Per- View, for now my hopes are riding on Chyna and Marcus.
Back at house, everyone turns in for the evening, except for Chyna and Adrienne, who hops into the Jacuzzi tub naked. They both continue to drink, because she is sexually frustrated, again, it has only been 4 days. Chyna offers Adrienne advise on claiming Chris as her man. Adrienne again reveals her love for the show Brady Bunch, she watched while growing up, and that she is only 22 years old, hey wait a minute- according to my recollections, Brady Bunch came on in the late 60s- (1969 to be exact) and only aired for 5 years, in 1974 the series was cancelled. Therefore Adrienne must have caught snippets of the show on TV Land, and her love of the show bloomed only recently. Does she really think we the viewers are that stupid. Again I implore her to go after Mini Me, if she wants more exposure. I mean it is more realistic to go with the notion that Adrienne could have fallen in 'love' with Mini Me from his bits in the Austin Powers series. Anyway, Adrienne declares she will have to drink to ease the heartbreak. Oh that should be fun, two drunks in the house.
AP N Tenn is a Single Southern Female with a BS in Sociology from Lambuth University
that enjoys, shopping, reading, and of course REALITY TV. AP can be reached at realityfan4ever@yahoo.com.
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