Surreal Life 4: Episode 5
Pitch It! Pitch It Hard!
By AP N Tenn
February 14, 2005
The houseguests are awake- Chris is working out, grunting loudly, as Adrienne stretches nearby. He admits that Adrienne is beautiful. Adrienne declares her love for him in the confessional, and declares that it is not a crush. She gets on the treadmill in a pair of short booty shorts, very tight and very revealing; Chris of course takes notice.
The newspaper arrive, with today's event- the houseguests will get to pitch story ideas to the top programming executives at VH1, the winner will get a deal- apparently Flava Flav and Brigitte Nelson did it, and were successful. The group tosses ideas around at the outside table, all except Da Brat, who feels this is a serious task. She works alone, to dedicate herself so that she can be successful. Chyna calls a friend/manager of her, who together they have been pitching an idea for a TV show; with this experience they should have the upper hand. Marcus and Mini Me team up.
Missy, Chyna's friend and manager, arrives to pitch the idea in a duo with Chyna. She prances around the office like she owns it, grabbing the spotlight from the other "celebrities" irritating them all, who feels she is too overbearing, and outspoken. Missy asks Adrienne all about her love life, and then concludes that she is a lesbian. All of the houseguest talk about Missy, as she seems to be high on something, besides her fake boobs, which are totally popping out of her skimpy shirt. Chyna and Missy are apparently roommates, and Chris comments that their house must be super wild. Chyna picks up on the fact that her fellow houseguests do not care for Missy, but she cares not.
Jane is called in first, she is very nervous; the room set up and the whole task intimidate her. Her idea is a show called Monkey Mountain, whereas it would be a real life Green Acres with her living the role of Ava Gardner. The executives, which includes Jeff-senior Vice President of Programming at VH1, do not take to her idea.
Chris is up next, and clearly he has spent no time at all on this, I think he is waiting for his additional 15 minutes of fame that he has been tossed to be all over. Anyway he mentions an idea called Celebrity Chariot Racing, whereas 'celebrities' will get together and do outrageous stunts. Again his idea does not get much of a response.
Marcus is up next, he pitches an idea about a weekly variety show, showing clips of newsworthy TV events, and give awards for the best of the clips. Apparently Marcus did not do his homework, as VH-1 already has such a show, called the Best Week ever. Mini Me is his sidekick on this one, and he just sits there like a bump on a log, as usual.
Da Brat is up next, and she presents her show entitled- Brutally Honest- whereas she would go around and tell everyday people the honest truth, with no holds barred. The executive Jeff ask Da Brat to be brutally honest with him, and not even missing a beat she tells him that one of his ears is larger than the other, and that can be corrected by surgery and he needs to get it fixed. He just stares at her, and it is on to the next person
Up next is Adrienne, her show idea is called Beauty and the Brady, and she would like 2 weeks to get Chris (aka the Brady) to marry her. The executives are taken aback, and one of them says why not work on that now, since you are together in the house now. Adrienne says why work on that now, when she can get her own show to do it. Why indeed.
Chyna and Missy are up next- Missy immediately jumps onto the table, I mean like 3 seconds after sitting down, I am guessing this is not a good idea. Anyway she crawls onto the table like a leopard, revealing more of the already over-exposed boobs. The show is called Man-Eater, whereas Chyna and Missy would go around helping women get revenge on men. The executives laugh. Missy gets even more up close and personal and starts licking the executive producer's neck, really milking the few minutes of camera time that she has been given. The executives do not seem to be impressed. I was thinking they had the edge, since they had more than a few hours to come up with something. Chyna doesn't even take a major role in the presentation; she lets Missy do all the talking and licking, and making an ass of herself, although she does jump on one of the female executives lap, and whipped a whip on a chain for a while.
Back at the house, they all sit around waiting to see if their 15 minutes of fame will be extended in a new show on VH-1. Missy fortunately is not in the house, maybe she is banned. As there is only one winner, everyone is anxious. Jeff calls, and comments to each person that they did not make it, when he gets to Adrienne, he tells her that if she truly wants to marry a Brady, she needs to work on that herself, with the time she has, she of course is embarrassed, as her desire to snag Chris on a totally different show has been revealed. Jeff saves Da Brat for the end, and she wins. He wants to work with her to develop a show, she refuses to jump up and down, cause she wants to keep it real.
Chris follows Adrienne into the kitchen after the news has been revealed, and tells her he guesses they should talk. So she tells him the story idea that she pitched, she is upset when he only laughs her off. By the way during this discussion she is in lingerie. Chris tells her she is over the top, and to drop the whole act. Adrienne is angry that he is not taking her seriously.
Adrienne leaves Chris and vows to drink a lot to keep her emotions under control. Chyna and Adrienne get drunk and wrestle in their lingerie. Later on Chris and Adrienne talk, and he tells her that she is developing into a bad apple, by following along with Chyna's antics.
Da Brat is put to the test, as they make her act like she is on her show, and be brutally honest with the houseguests. She tells Adrienne that she is attracted to Chris because he is well to not repeat her; she means that Chris got it going on. Da Brat gives Chris the microphone and he says that Adrienne is beautiful but he does not know what her motives are. Well aint her motives clear? She wants to extend her 15 minutes of fame, with a 3rd TV show, she even said so earlier, come on Chris, get a clue. Anyway Adrienne then tells Chris, he should accept her for who she is, or fly, she then stalks off and runs into the bathroom locking the door and crying her eyes out.
And that ends yet another day in the Surreal house.
Next week even more drama!
AP N Tenn is a Single Southern Female with a BS in Sociology from Lambuth University
that enjoys, shopping, reading, and of course REALITY TV. AP can be reached at realityfan4ever@yahoo.com.
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