Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Search
Episode 1
It's All About The Bod
Recap by Evan D. Baltz
January 6, 2005
12 models, 3 judges, $1 million and a photo in the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition. This is what it is all about. We know what is in it for the models, but what is in it for the viewers? Well, stated simply; a lot of chicks posing in bikinis. Sounds like a winner!
Former super model and SI Swimsuit alum, Cheryl Tiegs introduces us to the 12 models and 3 judges. The judges include former SI editor Julie Campbell-whom you may remember from those SI videos, former SI model Roshumba (isn't that the new vacuum cleaner that moves around automatically?), and agent Joel Wilkenfeld. It must be a nice gig for him.
The women are staying in a beautiful house in Malibu.
Something tells me I should buy a house there, just to rent it out to reality shows, since it seems every one of them has the contestants living in some Malibu mansion. When they arrive at the house, some wacko overly flamboyant ubiquitous gay model coordinator appears. His name is Nikko. How appropriate. I am already tired of him.
The first competition is a runway show in their bikinis in front of the judges and photographers. As each girl struts down the runway, we hear the judges discussing their, um, assets. Some of the comments are pretty harsh, but accurate. I was sad to see in the end, their comments didn't always translate into who they chose to stick around.
Krisi informs us, as if we needed to be told, that her boobs were bought and paid for. She is so excited for this opportunity that she breaks down in tears. She has considered other surgery, so it is apparent that she really does want this. It remains to be seen if you can buy your way through surgery into the SI Swimsuit Edition.
As each girl walks the runway we see a little bio about them and they are seen talking about themselves.
After the show, the girls return to the house to find their rooms and then join together for dinner. At dinner, Alicia seems to be rubbing the other girls the wrong way (no pun intended) right off the bat. She comes across as over-confident. If I know anything about women, it is that other women hate women who are over-confident. Apparently Alicia hasn't learned this lesson. Something tells me it will be communicated to her in future weeks.
The girls are given a note and told that they will have a photo shoot the following day and a Supermodel Pass will be given out to the winner of the next challenge.
The following day the girls are shown relaxing around the pool in their bikinis. Something tells me this will be a recurring theme. I am not complaining mind you. As they settle into the comfortable lifestyle, they interrupted by three drill sergeants who will serve as their trainers for the day. The challenge they are given is to compete in a type of Simon Says game. They can only move when the whistle blows. The last woman standing wins the Supermodel Pass. After 50 minutes of jumping jacks and push ups, Sabrina is declared the winner.
In the little interview vignettes we see, it becomes easy to tell which girl is from Minnesota and which one is from Chicago. Their horrible accents give them away. The girl from Minnesota sounds like the hooker extra from the movie Fargo. The girl from Illinoise (intentionally spelled that way) sounds like she could fit into one of those Saturday Night Live skits with Chris Farley and Mike Myers talking about "Da Bearrrrsss." Thankfully this is not a contest for models that need to know how to speak. It's all about the bod.
At 5:30am the next morning the girls are rousted from their beauty slumber by Nikko. They are told they must get ready for their shoot.
The shoot takes place on a beach. How appropriate. Sabrina, having won the Supermodel Pass, is told she can select the order in which the girls will be photographed. Now anyone in their right mind would select to go last so they can learn from the other's mistakes. However Sabrina inexplicably decides to go first and then randomly orders the other girls. Not too smart.
During the shoot, the girls roll around in the surf and sand in their bikinis. The judges are heard discussing their strengths and weaknesses. Jenna gets nailed by a big wave and is slightly injured.
The judges then review the photos and must decide which four will be eliminated.
Later, the girls and judges are gathered in the Staples Center. The judges call each girl forward, discuss her attributes and weaknesses and then inform the girl whether she has "made the cut" or has been "dropped."
The first to go is Nancy. Next it is Shantal. Then Marcela. Finally Sabrina is excused. I am guessing her odd decision with what to do with her Supermodel Pass didn't help her. Although I thought that Shantal and Sabrina had cuter faces than many, it appears that doesn't factor in much. But I am at a loss why Betti and Adaora are still around. Neither of them has the body or the face. And the judges basically said that, but apparently it wouldn't be politically correct to excuse both of the black women in the first show. My personal opinion is that none of these 12 girls was super, super hot and really on a par with the top SI Swimsuit models.
Evan is a Web Designer and Corporate Training Specialist by day, and a Reality TV junky, author, and movie reviewer by night.
You can write to Evan at RealEvan@RealityTVCalendar.com
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