The Bachelor: Full Of Spite And Hateful Envy Commentary by RTVC Staff Writer Amelia Wasserman
February 15, 2012
Weird, the way
Ben likes them.
This episode of The Bachelor started in Belize and immediately I thought holy shit Ben has some questionable taste in tank tops.
Then I started thinking how it would be so much more entertaining if the remaining girls were bumped from their usual 5 star villas to straw huts with no toilets.
Alas, no such luck.
After the oo’ing and aw’ing over how amazing and beautiful everything is , Chris Harrison (who had clearly just come from a Mitt Romney fashion consultation) wondered in.
Got thoughts? Post them at the end.
Chris explained there would be 3 one-on-one dates and a group date.
Lindzi got the first one-on-one date.
I’m sorry about this, but I have to make the executive decision that Ben is not attractive. In fact it was nice to have a week off of that mug.
I’m also out of helicopter jokes. There’s just nothing left to say.
So Ben and Lindzi had to jump out of the helicopter and Quelle Surprise Lindzi is afraid of heights.
Apparently a fear of heights and or sharks is a Bachelor requirement. If you fail to tick “fear of jumping off of bridges/planes/large buildings/swimming with sharks” on your bachelor audition questionnaire your chances of getting accepted drop at least 75%.
But I get it, without those dates how could they get Ben to sound serious when he’s asked the following question…
Director: “Ben now that you and Lindzi have conquered this great fear together do you think can conquer anything?”
Ben: “Yes”
Director: “Please include my question in the answer.”
Ben: “ I forgot the question.”
Director: “Now that you and Lindzi have conquered this great fear together do you think can conquer anything together?”
Ben: “Yes, now that we’ve conquered this together…we can accomplish anything together.”
Director: “Great, now say it in 10 different ways. And pretend you mean it.”
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