The Bachelor: Ben And The Girls Get Sonomafied
Commentary by RTVC Staff Writer Romantic Rose
January 14, 2012
The girls are going to perform in a play written by the best playwright in the land.
You can see the Broadway signs light up in the girls’ eyes, only to go out when they discover the playwrights are children.
The play may not do much to advance the careers of any aspiring actresses in the group, but the smart girls realize it is their chance to show Ben how much they love children.
What cute kids! What an adorable play! How fun it will be to play a weasel or a gingerbread man! Some of the smiles are faker than others.
Jennifer wins the award for Most Convincing Display of Love for Kids.
She auditions for and wins the part of the weasel.
Maybe because of her name and her badly dyed red hair, she reminds me of Jennifer Stone, who plays Harper on Wizards of Waverly Place.
She has the same naïve enthusiasm and innocent hope that if she does a good job in the play, she can weasel her way into Ben’s heart.
We see bad auditions and a weak attempt at a sexy dance.
The Blakeley bashing begins as the girls complain about her revealing clothing that displays her “jugs.” Even the kids notice.
The girls turn up their noses, but one boy in particular likes it.
The script is awfully sophisticated for children’s theatre.
It includes champagne, kisses, and poor Jenna, in a terribly unsexy wizard costume and beard.
At one point, the dragon causes Ben, who has somehow turned from a prince into a sheep, to lose his fur. He prances half-naked around the stage.
Jaclyn, who stars as the princess in a bad Paris Hilton wig, says it’s the first time she has been attracted to a sheep. Yeah, male sheep don’t typically get much action.
After the play, it’s wine and pool time.
Blakeley wants the rose. She pulls out the usual excuse for behaving badly: she’s here for Ben, not the other girls.
She calls on her experience as a VIP cocktail waitress to show Ben she most definitely does not see Sonoma as Mayberry and to get some lip action.
Hey, it worked for Rachel with Tiger, and Ben seems clueless. He thinks the other girls like her, and he calls her grounded.
The other girls do not like her. They take turns calling her names from cougar to Fakely.
I was waiting for the.....
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