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Celebrity Apprentice: "I’m Going To Fire The Asses Off Them!” All Class, All The Time
Recap and Commentary by RTVC Staff Writer Candace Lind
March 15, 2010
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His Magnificence, still in
need of an egobotomy,
bloviates his way into
another season.
Yeah, I admit it, I couldn’t wait for another season of The Apprentice – “celebrity” or not.
I love to watch The Donald and his enormous ego parade around.
The opening shots are gorgeous city views, first a sensational sunset with the Statue of Liberty in silhouette, then birds-eye views of Central Park and downtown Manhattan. Men in hard hats, scaffolding, more and more buildings, no doubt all owned by Trump. New York City does look spectacular.
So where is His Eminence? Ah! It seems Trump Tower is literally made out of gold, as we swoop right into his massive office with floor to ceiling windows, overlooking the kingdom.
He’s serious now, and begins by pompously reassuring us that though our country has been through a lot, we Americans just roll up our sleeves and get to work. No matter what!
He steps into his gold elevator as he bloviates on about how he’s doing his part, for the people who need it! Need it now more than ever! Right now! The music swells to a crescendo as he steps out of the gold elevator into his gold lobby.
“These celebrities put their careers on hold …their lives on hold!”
He’s learned a new walk, a sort of rapper/model/perp walk slouchy thing, and he uses it as he starts out the gold door. The liveried, white-gloved doorman bows and nods as His Magnificence marches past without even looking at him. He heads for his fifty foot black limo as he huffs how these celebrities are going to fight for their favorite charities. Fight for their lives in the toughest competition ever! Then he stops, stares straight into the camera and says. “You know what? I’m walking.”
We are stunned, as he knew we would be, as he and his long black coat swirl away toward his city.
Imagine, he's walking! The limo empty, the music triumphant, chills running down my spine, oh, the glory of it all! “I’ll pick just one to become the Celebrity Apprentice, and as for the rest …I’m going to fire the asses off each and every one of them.” All class, all the time.
Dum dum DUM! And a closeup of a check for $250,000, that will go to the charity of one lucky winner. Let’s get to know the fourteen players a little better, shall we? I always like to know a little something extra about the people I’m watching, preferably dirty little secrets or their criminal background. And hey, we’re in luck. … a couple of these either have been or should be in jail. Let’s start with them!
I’m dying to see how sleazeball.....
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