All the Celebrity Apprentice wannabes are drinking champagne and cheering themselves since no one got fired.

Ha! You can always tell when the editors and cameramen don’t like someone, because they make sure they capture their ugliest moments.

Holly’s always ugly, so that’s not hard, but they get a great shot of her chewing and gulping with her mouth open. Nice, Holly! There’s some yellow stuff on your chin where you dribbled. Ugh, now she’s weeping phonily because they’re toasting her for her big win. Cyndi bellows: “TA HAAAAAAWLY!” Who cares. I can’t stand Hagface Holly and her sneering bitchface.

More Holly crying. Sharon says she was gutted when her team lost, and she’s pissed now. Sharon can be unpleasant, but she’s an angel compared to Hagface, so I’m sorry her team lost, too.

Is this part almost over? Now Holly’s husband Rod comes in and she gives him the $347,000 check. Of course the money is going to a charity named after themselves – the HollyRod foundation. She is so full of herself, so viciously egotistical, she’d name everything after herself if she could. Her four kids come in, probably all named Holly or Hollyrod, and she gasbags endlessly about autism and how important she is and how much good work she does.

Shut up, Holly. We’ve seen what a self-important, conceited bitch you are for three solid months now. Nothing you can do will ever change that. Did I say shut up, Holly? Because that can never be said enough. Holly? Shut the fuck up.

We’re in the “Trump SoHo Hotel Ballroom.” Isn’t this one of his buildings that got shut down because he ran out of money building it? I know one thing, there are 391 rooms and so far they’ve only gotten a 30% occupancy rate. He doesn’t say it on the show, but on the website you can buy a two-night “Celebrity Apprentice Finale Package.”

Exciting! For only $5,750, you can stay in a deluxe one-bedroom suite for two nights, plus a limo ride to the show, a three-course dinner with a bottle of wine, and – hey, look at this!

You also get to take home, for real, for keepsies – the earrings that Miss Ivanka Trump actually wore on the second episode of this season’s Apprentice! OMG! Gimme the phone! These earrings are genuine emerald-cut rock crystal! Made by Ivanka Trump Fine Jewelry, of course.

Wait. What? What is “emerald-cut rock crystal”? I know what rock is, and I know what crystal is, but those are illegal. Oh right, it said “earrings.” Let’s see. Here’s a pair on eBay. Hmm. $59. Well, those one-bedroom suites go for $389 a night, and if the earrings are only worth fifty bucks or so – where is my five thousand seven hundred dollars going? I guess that will be quite the three-course dinner.

Anyway. DT introduces the execs.....