Celebrity Apprentice 2: Cry Me A Rivers
Commentary and Rankings by RTVC Staff Writer Donna Emery
April 20, 2009
This week on the Celebrity Apprentice, we got a double dose of drama – and, twice, Joan Rivers escaped getting the axe.
While there’s no doubt Joan Rivers can work a crowd and still get laughs, her tendency to take things too personally makes it very unlikely that she is tough enough to become the next Celebrity Apprentice. Although she, like Dennis Rodman before her, has escaped more than her share of opportunities to be fired, she at least has contributed to her team’s ability to schmooze both executives and clients.
But she has to repeat the Trump Motto to herself: “it’s nothing personal. It’s just business.”
And, as talented as she is, business doesn’t seem to be Ms. Rivers’ strong point.
She made a great start in the jewelry task and divvied up the tasks according to the team members’ talents. But there wasn’t a football for Herschel to throw or any country music fans to charm for Clint. There also were no golf clubs anywhere for Natalie, so Joan decided that a young and pretty lady should know how to pick jewelry.
But, picking jewelry for yourself versus picking it for a catwalk challenge are two different things.
I think KOTU did the best they could with this challenge. They knew Annie would have lots of cash-laden friends who’d fly to the auction (or bid by phone) and they also knew that their own friends had less available cash. It must have been embarrassing for Natalie to make phone calls to her golf contacts and be turned down – and then, to have to admit it. Natalie did have a great idea to contact Phil Helmuth, and it’s too bad it backfired. It’s too bad Trump had to weigh that great idea (which would have made her a hero, if it had won) against her unwise jewelry choices.
Annie definitely knows how to play this game – and she knows how to spice up the show. She isn’t shy about throwing some curse words around when she’s angry, but butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth when she’s in the Boardroom. She’s all smiles and charm with Mr. Trump, but spitting venom at the thought that someone might be tricked into opposing her. I don’t know what got her more steamed: that an acquaintance might be bidding against her, or that Natalie was actually thinking like she would.
I’ve been predicting Annie will be the winner, since the beginning, and this lesson only served to cement my opinion. No one else on either team even comes close, when it comes to playing this game the right way. She has done her homework. Like Piers, she knows it’s all about money. She doesn’t have to woo Trump with beauty, although Brande has shown that doesn’t hurt, or cash in on years of mutual respect, like Joan. She doesn’t have to be a sports star, although Herschel and Natalie have both shown Trump respects athletes. She can’t sing, like Tionne, Clint and Brian or tell jokes like Andrew or Tom and she’s not a pinup gal like Brande. What she does have is the same quality as Piers showed last year: the ability to raise money. Last week, at the start of the jewelry task, she glowed with anticipation when she contemplated leading a fund-raising task. She showed us all how it’s done. Clint Black’s efforts seemed about as effective as trying to build the Eiffel tower from toothpicks.
While this show is really all about Trump, and bears no real resemblance to a reality show, it is still a contest. However, most of the celebrities have shown they don’t have the Right Stuff to compete at the level set by Piers, last year. Like him or not – and I don’t – he knew how to raise money.
So does Annie.
The jewelry task showed her besting the others – both in fund-raising and in the politics of team competition. I don’t know whether Brande really shaped up, or whether Annie decided to gaslight Melissa. Both ladies didn’t seem to know, although Melissa certainly cared.
Only Jesse James.....
Donna is a nurse and teacher, and a mother of 5. She lives in Pennsylvania and is admittedly addicted to many reality shows. You can reach her at mrsed4ever@yahoo.com.
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