The Hills: "With This Ring"
Episode 16 Recap by Erin Murphy
November 20, 2007
Here we go! Do you have your whiskey, vodka or Everclear? No wait, just get the Mad Dog or better yet, grab the cooking wine. It's that kind of night, folks. And let it be known, my sweet little barreled out Katy is watching tonight, she's kind of like my little sister but much dirtier and stinky in all the right places. She recently emailed me and it made me remember my co-dependent ways. You are forever in my thoughts, sweet yellow minion. Now, grab your cocktail everybody - it's as important as your next breath when you're watching this show. Let's also take into consideration, you are all actually watching this show so take a drink - a big, long swig - you won't remember anything tomorrow, and sometimes it's better that way.
To start, I need to inform the reader or readers if my grandma is reading too, that my cable is having technical difficulties so as it freezes and jumps, I can only read lips or rolling eyes and so I'll have improvise this time around. Please, just go with it and don't spank me too hard afterwards - that's to you Danny A. It seems that Spencer wants to elope and Heidi can't believe he's not supportive of her dream wedding. She wants to get married in a church, but doesn't she realize her husband-to-be will go up in flames? He hits the wall with her demands but gives in by sarcastically telling her he'll wear a suit and just needs to know where to be. How romantic. He's such a dream guy. Almost as sexy as the "The Bachelor" who dumped both girls in the season finale tonight - did anybody see that awesomeness? It was magical. Anyway, let's get on with the agony.
Team LC works out, laughs, and refuses to sweat. I'm annoyed as I sit here dripping sweat from merely typing and smoking at the same time. I'm burning calories though so I don't have to go to the gym for another month. Jaret, their personal trainer and resident meathead, trains the girls and is paid off with an invite to their upcoming evening at Big Wangs. Over a smoothie, Whitney stresses that she has no expectations for the night out with Jaret and the girls smile. Oh my goodness, it's almost as exciting as the front row "Hannah Montana" tickets she recently scored.
Meanwhile, Heidi drags a seething Spencer through a church she thinks is beautiful enough to house their wedding. Martha, a pastor with an appropriately pastor-ish name, tells them about the wedding package that includes pre-marital counseling (YES) that is required to get hitched in her glamorous house of God. Spencer grinds his teeth in comfort. Martha stresses that they need to book six months ahead of time and Spencer is annoyed since he anticipated getting hitched in the next month, or better yet the next day or two. It's like ripping off a band-aid, just get 'er done.
At Casa Audrina and LC, the girls pick out sports-bar-appropriate outfits. LC chooses lingerie with moccasins and tights - it confuses me at first but then I slam my head into a table corner and it all makes perfect sense. Whitney gushes with excitement to see Jaret. No expectations. Out they go to the beer- soaked wings bar. The girls chug Coors Light and celebrate Jaret's arrival. Whitney thinks he's cute and as they rock out to Def Leppard, she agrees to play pool and giggle annoyingly. Audrina and LC laugh and give a thumbs up as their girl attempts to flirt. Before the night ends, Jaret asks Whitney out for another date to Runyon Canyon which is basically a mountain path filled with dog poop where people walk, run, and sweat while deeply inhaling feces and talent agent egos. Trust me, I've done it and it's horrifying. One time, I saw a guy praying atop the hill on his knees in cowboy boots, tight jeans, and no shirt. The glistening crucifix around his neck glimmered in the sunlight as his pug licked his dripping sweat from the pools around him. I wondered if he was God, or the god of Hollywood, the god of egos, or the god of dog poop - I went with the latter since I made me laugh enough to make it down the mountain without puking up my overpriced omelet I'd bought from the West Hollywood breakfast nook I'd just perused. It was beautiful in all, it was Hollywood. I don't miss it, but I do miss those omelets… and people that work out in tight jeans.
Whitney and Jaret power through the brown-stained smog as they jog towards the Hollywood sign. He forces her to do jumping jacks and I suddenly realize this is another training session. Is she paying him for this? He has her do air punches and I laugh at her spaghetti arms - she couldn't knock out a cloud of smoke or a cloud of smog as I'm witnessing. He's so cheesy that I can taste Velveeta just watching him - maybe that was my burp though. They take in the overcast view of downtown Los Angeles. At the end of the workout, he invites her to drinks that night where he promises he won't make her work out unless you count being on your knees for 15 minutes at a time picking up the multiple celebrity names that Jaret probably "drops" at any given conversation.
Heidi dreams out loud about.....
Erin Murphy, is a 30-year-old Midwestern girl who lives in Indianapolis, home of the Colts. She stays grounded every day with the help of her friends and alcohol. She feels it’s important to never take life to seriously and very much enjoys laughing at most things including herself… life is what you make it and she can’t wait to see what happens next.
You can make her day by contacting her at: Erin@RealityTVcalendar.com.
All articles are the intellectual property of and copyrighted by the individual authors. By submitting an article to Reality TV Calendar you are granting Reality TV Calendar permission to display the article in perpetuity.
HTML Hit Counter
