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The Hills: A Night at the Opera
Episode 17 Recap by Erin Murphy
November 27, 2007
It's sad to say but very much true, that I live to make my readers laugh or anybody for that matter. I really do. I check my email several times a day in hopes of a message noting somebody's delight in my recaps. For every 100 pieces of spam noting the "enlargement" I could receive with one click of a button, I get one really delicious vote of confidence (usually from my girl Kerry P.).
On that pathetic note, I must apologize in advance because tomorrow morning is a very big day for me and could possibly prohibit me from spending way too much time to make this recap comedic enough to bring somebody to work to read my recap rather than hitting the local bar for an eye opener… but I digress.
Tomorrow is picture day for my job I.D. It's like getting my school picture, but no free comb before and no retakes - this is the big leagues. Anyway, I will recap as funny as I can in order to get my beauty sleep so I can rise at 4am and lock n' roll and crimp, and let's not forget - a banana comb never goes in perfectly the first time so wish me luck. On with the show…
We begin with Audrina telling LC about her recent night at "Green Door" where she bumped into the newest casted character to "The Hills" - Stephanie Pratt, yes folks its Spencer's sister and she's just as evil but with talons and PMS. LC is fearful of the girl version of Spencer that she dubs a "She Pratt" who can actually hit her and get away with it. She actually says that and I totally know what she means. It's terrifying - almost as terrifying as Zelda from "Pet Cemetery" but let's not give her too much credit. Zelda is the queen and still keeps me up at night when I insist on scaring myself by watching scenes on YouTube - seriously, do it when you're home alone. Oh, and for the avid viewers did you hear Whitney might get fired from "The Hills." Supposedly it's because she's so boring but please pay attention because I swear Stephanie Pratt is just Whitney with messy hair and Wet n' Wild make-up. Look closely and notice that Whitney isn't in this episode… because she's too busy playing Spencer's sister. I'm just sayin…
Stephanie (or should we just call her unkept Whitney) pays a visit to her brother and Heidi who quickly informs that Heidi killed their pet jellyfish by forgetting to pay the electric bill and shutting off the aquarium. Heidi is a genius. Anyway, they get right into the wedding discussions and Spencer expresses his desire to get hitched in Tibet - perhaps he could spend seven years there. I think I already made that joke this season but whatever if this season is boring, I can be too. Stephanie informs them that she's become an ordained minister on-line so she should definitely do their ceremony. Without missing a beat, Heidi shuns the idea.
At Casa LC & Whitney, the girls discuss their plans for the evening. Audrina complains about Justin Bobby and his wandering eye. She prefers their alone time since there aren't any distractions indoors except for maybe a mirror. Audrina is so over it and its clear Bustin Jobby is going to pull the same crap tonight because let's remember this show is scripted.
That night, the girls meet up with Brody and bring along Justin Bobby to service the storyline. They quickly spot Stephanie Pratt who is just everywhere in this episode but where's Whitney. Seriously, look closely. So Stephanie and her trusty sidekick, Roxy (somebody got their SAG card today), approach Team LC and try to lure Brody away from them. The evil duo lays into LC and Audrina telling them to stop being so rude to Heidi because she's family now. Oh please, they aren't even married yet. LC, obviously, defends herself but plays it cool saying "you don't know me." Stephanie claims, "if you hate my brother, then I hate you." Wow, this takes me back to high school when hating people was a team sport. Brody steps up like a true gossip ref and shuts the girls down. LC tells the new guest stars not to fight other people's battles and they storm away. End scene. Audrina says they remind her of Cinderella and her stepsisters. Not the wittiest remark, but the lone brain cell is probably napping after that complex comparison. All is well in Team LC land until Justin Bobby starts flirting with another girl - what a surprise. Everybody is appalled as he openly flirts with the skank all up on his poop like a fly.
We find the girls outside the club mad as hell. Turns out that Justin Bobby was kissing the girl at the bar and Audrina is disgusted. Bustin Jobby barrels out of the club laughing and playfully pushing his newest conquest. Audrina gags as LC tries to whisk her away to the car. Unfortunately, the lure of co-dependence is too much for Audrina to resist and within moments she's in Justin Bobby's clenches behind a dumpster. Her lone brain cell is working overtime but it's just not enough and I think it's actually dying because I can't make sense of her even listening to this drunken hot mess she calls a boyfriend. He apologizes and her brain cell is seduced by his natural curl and body odor that would make the straightest hair naturally curl.
I bow my head in mourning.....
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Erin Murphy, is a 30-year-old Midwestern girl who lives in Indianapolis, home of the Colts. She stays grounded every day with the help of her friends and alcohol. She feels it’s important to never take life to seriously and very much enjoys laughing at most things including herself… life is what you make it and she can’t wait to see what happens next.
You can make her day by contacting her at: Erin@RealityTVcalendar.com.
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