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The Real Housewives of New York City: Takin’ it to the Street
Recap and Commentary by RTVC Staff Writer Erin Newell
March 19, 2010
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WARNING: An iron skillet slammed directly into one’s face may be required to stay awake for this entire episode of The Real Housewives of New York City.
Hey, it happens. Sometimes the housewives have an off day and decide to function normally like the rest of us, but don’t worry, it ends on a high note of dysfunctional drama and the universe is in balance once again.
It’ a mom and daughter road trip for LuAnn and Victoria from the Hamptons to the city as they giggle and judge Kelly’s decision to pose for Playboy. The dynamic changes drastically when Victoria mentions that some of her friends think LuAnn is hot.
LuAnn is so excited I’m surprised she doesn’t slam on the brakes and send her daughter through the windshield, failing to brace her with mom’s arm so she can fix her hair in case a pre-teen boy passes boy. It’s seriously that ridiculous.
Victoria changes the subject to avoid vomiting and expresses hope that Kelly doesn’t show her “cha cha” in Playboy. LuAnn screams “cha cha” and laughs and I decide it’s time to find the skillet.
Kelly takes her girls, C and Teddy, to lunch to discuss her literal spread in Playboy. The tiny adults tell her she’s a bad parent and then cackle and comfort their mom by telling her she’s okay in their book because she “does fun things and is pretty” (like a piñata or a dolphin).
Bethenny arrives at the The Learning Annex to talk about her book, swear and “out” gay men in the crowd. She’s actually kind of hilarious and I admire her public speaking abilities, but I fall asleep and roll off the couch onto my cat and a bag of Goldfish (not again).
Bobby gets a call from his doctor confirming that his thyroid cancer is in remission and he and Jill hug and cry and appreciate their miracle. It’s genuine and sweet and I change into my Team Jill shirt.
Kelly gets poured into the bunny outfit and in no time is writhing around on a bed living the dream to pose for Playboy (which includes having your ex-husband as the photographer – seriously, I read that it was her ex). It’s boring and I fall asleep for a second and dream that a giant silky bunny hops into the room and throws a magazine at my “cha cha.” It’s horrifying and startles me back to consciousness.
LuAnn hosts some party for some designer that Lindsay Lohan and her mom attend for a second, but not before Jill reminds LuAnn that she’s totally friends with them. Alex and Simon arrive and Jill kicks off an interrogation about Ramona’s luncheon last week that much to Alex’s relief is interrupted by the arrival of a tray of drinks. Oh, and Alex brought some guy wearing some corset that Jill hated and said to his face because being honest is more important than having tact.
Anyway, I smack myself to stay focused knowing that one more face slam into the skillet is going to break it and I have junk band practice later. Okay, so Kelly babbles in sync with Jill about her Playboy shoot. Alex can’t help but remember last season when she was basically crucified on the reunion show when private pictures found their way onto the internet. She’s annoyed but buries it like a real grown-up.
Jill has a psychic she trusts. Why are you laughing? LuAnn wants to play with the psychic too so Jill invites her psychic over for playtime. Jill is certain that her psychic has something more “concrete” to tell LuAnn about her life and I completely agree that words like “concrete” should often be used when talking about psychics. The magic begins when the psychic reveals that LuAnn will welcome a new love into her life with a name that starts with “J” which blows LuAnn away because she’s met a guy with a “J” name. Whoa, I mean the odds of meeting a John or Jim or Joe or Jason or Jeff or Josh or Jack … I mean these aren’t common names, folks.
Jill asks about Bethenny and the psychic assures her.....
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