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Survivor Heroes Vs. Villains: Douche™ Cries, Dick™ Gets Dumber, Rupert Wants A Hug And Cirie Never Saw It Coming
Commentary and Snarkfest by RTVC Staff Writer Stimpy
March 5, 2010
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Hidden Idols? We don't
need no Hidden Idols.
Greetings once again fans of Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains, and more importantly, fans of Stimpy’s Snarkfests on the same.
Episode four is in the books and I knows there’s gonna be some crying in Mudville today. I shan’t be shedding any tears, but for many their Survivor Numero Uno is now toast.
But we’ll get to that.
Let’s kinda begin where I left off in last week’s piece. At the rundown I stated (or wrote), that Parvati was now my favorite to win the whole thing, given how the whole episode seemed to point to her demise only to see Randy booted by a unanimous vote.
Well, in Probst’s recap to start this week’s episode, we were told (in a nutshell): The Heroes got pounded a couple of times; James acted like an ass; JT acted like a Villain (For daring to play the game? That bastard!); And one Coach Wade (affectionately referred to as Douche™ by your humble scribe…that’d be me) is still a doofus.
Notice not one reference to Ms. Shallow and the dangers she faced?
Pay attention class. These are important lessons.
If the entire previous episode was about how you were in danger and they don’t even touch on it in the ‘Previously on Survivor’ blurb, then one of two things is happening:
1) Yer gonna get blindsided out in glorious fashion that night or
2) They don’t want to show their hand that yer probably in for the long haul, and by not acknowledging the previous week’s edit, they’re basically admitting it had nothing to do with anything in the long run.
Of course, since Parvati and the dangers she faced last week weren’t even a factor this week, why bother bringing it up again?
Um, because that’s what the entire last episode was about.
Anyhoo, the reason we got treated to Douche™ in that spiel, was because as the Villains returned to camp, he was nursing an ‘ow-ey’.
Him got’em his feewings hurt.
By Sandra of all people.
Good lord.
But that’s what happened. Our heroic Dragonslayer, and warrior-extraordinaire took what Sandra had to say to heart, and thus, he’s very despondent.
Sigh.
So, after telling us that his feelings were hurt, Douche™ has a chat with Tyson about it.
More correctly, Douche™ blathered.....
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