Hey there fans of Survivor Heroes vs. Villains! Well another season is in the books, and I, your humble scribe am here to dissect what went down.

Sandra won.

See ya next season!

Unfortunately, I’m contractually obligated to contribute more (which doesn’t make ANY sense, since I don’t get paid for this, but since Parvati didn’t either - despite the $100K runner-up prize - I shall venture forth).

Truth be told, as this finale episode unfolded, there were a couple of times I furrowed my brow and thought ‘holy shit, Sandra’s gonna win this thing’.

I was hoping it was just the wine or the beer screwing with my senses, alas, I don’t have that kinda luck.

So, let’s get down to it, shall we?

Sandra won.

See ya next season!

STILL not enough?

Sigh.

All rightey, then.

Okay, gotta admit, I liked how they ‘recapped’ who the final five were at the beginning of the episode. It brought a nice bit of history to things.

Then, it began in earnest, as Parvati and Russell the Dick™ (or maybe I should start calling him Russell the Loser™ - I’ll think about it and get back to ya), chatted about Sandra’s playing of a talisman at the previous Tribal Council - aka ‘Rupert’s GLARE’.

Parvati, shrewd little cookie that she is, lauds Sandra for it and says it was a good play.

The Loser Dick™ (we’ll just combine them both, no?), disagrees. He thinks it was a dumb strategic move.

Of course, that’s only because The Loser Dick™ is such a control freak, that he considers any move that he’s not a part of to be a ‘dumb strategic move’.

But it wasn’t.

I addressed it last week, and I shall do so again.

Stimpy’s Survivor Primer

If you’ve got a talisman in your back pocket, and it’s the last time you can play it, then you fucking play it.

Like I said; Fiji winner Earl did, and it didn’t bite him in the ass.

Even if you know you’re completely.....