Survivor One World: Michael Jefferson - Stimpy's Take, Interview, Bio And More
By Reality TV Calendar Senior Staff Writer Stimpy
January 26, 2012
Things don’t start off well with Michael for me.
He dislikes people who ‘need’ a cigarette.
Dude? After reading you bio, I not only ‘need’ a cigarette, but I need a drink.
He’s another one who’s got a pet peeve of ‘bad breath’. Again, the lack of toiletries out there may be a problem for him.
He also doesn’t like ‘annoying eaters’. Ever been stranded on a beach with people trying to eat with no utensils, Michael?
Okay, so obviously Michael’s a physically impressive specimen.
But the good ends there.
Sweet jesus, look at this guy’s bio.
He likens himself to Ethan, because he played a ‘clean’ game, and Rupert, because like him, Michael speaks from his heart and not his head.
Okay, let’s be clear here: Ethan was able to play a ‘clean’ game, because he hid behind Lex.
But that was back during the third season. Ethan’s kinda game nowadays? Might not work.
Hell, just ask Parvati who probably lost Heroes/Villains because she was seen as too tight with Russell the Dick™.
As for Rupert. God love him - and I do, kinda - but the guy can’t play Survivor. At least not strategically.
Thus, speaking from your heart and not your head is not a good thing.
In describing himself, Michael says: a leader (good, ‘cause they never get targeted), ambitious, and organized.
Oh yeah, with a bunch of people out in the wilderness, that organization one will probably be loads of fun.
As for why he’s out there? It’s his mom’s dream.
Seriously, someone shoot me in the fucking head.
As to why he thinks he’ll do well? He’s a natural leader (yup, there’s that word again), but, who knows how to keep his mouth shut.
Mother of god.
Pray tell Michael, what does a ‘natural leader’ who knows how to keep his mouth shut do when everyone looks to him for leadership on a contentious issue?
Keeping your mouth shut might not work.
Hence, if you wanna be ‘alpha male’ - as I think he’s gonna try to be - keeping your mouth shut will only make people question your leadership.
If there’s one thing that gets targeted before ‘leaders’, it’s ‘leaders who won’t lead’.
I also had to chuckle at how he says ‘people always listen to my opinions’. That may work in the real world, son, but in Survivor, some people like to think for themselves.
Plus, it’s not just your opinion that matters. It’s how you get people to agree with your opinions.
Namely, how to convince people to do something because they think it’s to their benefit.
Somehow, I’m getting the vibe that Michael doesn’t quite get that.
Michael also says he’s a ‘people person’ and with all the back-stabbing that goes on during Survivor he doesn’t see it happening to him.
Gods of Ironic Foreshadowing™?
He also says he’s driven and usually gets what he wants.
Uh huh, let’s see how that plays out.
Plus, this whole ‘I’m a natural leader who will gladly step back to take the spotlight off myself’ spiel.
Shit man, it’s like he thinks that if people don’t listen to him, then they’re idiots.
That shit won’t fly.
He also says he’s persuasive, but that’s something I’ll have to see in action before I buy it.
As for ‘keeping his enemies close’, that’s another I’ll have to see to believe.
Real world ain’t the same as Survivor dude.
Michael strikes me as a bit of an arrogant prick, who is gonna try and be top dog for the guys, and that could seriously end up fucking him something fierce.
If I were a betting man, and I am, I’d say somewhere between zero and snowball’s chance in hell of winning.
He will probably stick around for awhile though, because I see him being an asset physically.
But, holy wow, when the social aspect of things kick in, look out.
Got thoughts? Post them at the end.
CBS Bio: Name (Age): Michael Jefferson (30) Tribe Designation: Manono Current Residence: Seattle, Wash. Occupation: Banker Personal Claim to Fame: I was the first one in my family to become a college graduate. Inspiration in Life: My dad is my hero. He is the man I want to be like. I have learned so many great skills from him that I’ll have for a lifetime. Hobbies: Working out, kayaking and soccer. Pet Peeves: Annoying eaters, bad breath, people who grunt while working out, and people that “need” a cigarette. 3 Words to Describe You: A leader, ambitious and organized. SURVIVOR Contestant You Are Most Like: First, Ethan since he played a very clean game and did very well, and Rupert, because I speak my mind from my heart, not my head. Reason for Being on SURVIVOR: It’s my mom’s dream (Survivor is her favorite show) for me to be on and win. Also, I see it as my chance to travel to a new part of the world. Why You Think You’ll “Survive” SURVIVOR: I am a natural leader who knows when to keep my mouth shut. People always listen to my opinions and I am a hard worker. I am very much a people person and with all the back-stabbing that goes on with Survivor, I don’t see it happening to me. Why You Think You Will Be the Sole SURVIVOR: I am a very driven person and can usually get what I want. I am a natural leader but will gladly step aside to take the spotlight off of me. I am also a very persuasive person who has learned to keep your enemies close so that it’s easier to control and predict their movements. I am unstoppable!!
Stimpy is a huge fan of Survivor and enjoys dissecting each episode. When not watching Survivor or sports on TV, he fills his time by skydiving, rockclimbing, golfing, and rollerblading, as well as sitting on the beach drinking beer in British Columbia, Canada. You can contact him at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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