Survivor One World: Troy Robertson - Stimpy's Take, Interview, Bio And More
By Reality TV Calendar Senior Staff Writer Stimpy
January 26, 2012
Troy Robertson
Stimpy's Take:
Okay, I’ve seen his application video, and in all honesty, I’m still freaked out by it.
Troy does know the game, and has wanted to be a part of it for a long time.
Problem is, the game Troy knows is the same game that Rupert and Ozzy partook in.
One that’s all physical, and surviving around camp.
Troy’s all gung-ho because he can swim like a dolphin and make fire with two sticks.
Again, whoop-de-fucking-doo.
People it’s not all about that.
Survivor is a social game.
And, in all honesty, nuthin’ in Troy’s bio makes me believe that he gets that.
Sure, he’ll make alliances and partake at some minor level of strategy, but in the end, there’s nothing here that says ‘I’ll use my attributes to make myself an asset, and use that to build good alliances that can help me get further in the game’.
Hell, if I’d read that, I’d be screaming ‘potential winner’.
But, guess what? I didn’t.
Again, Troy (or Troyzan as he dubbed himself in his video - two Tarzan fans in one season? But seriously, if the over/under on how many times Stimpy refers to him as Troyzan is two, take the fucking under) sees Survivor as an adventure.
Not a social game. Hell, not even a game per se.
Sure, he’s gonna be jacked for challenges, but that doesn’t mean squat if you don’t get the game at it’s most basic level.
Did our first winner ever - Richard Hatch - swim like a dolphin, or make fire with two sticks?
Nope.
Did the only two-time winner - Sandra - swim like a dolphin or make fire with two sticks?
Nope.
Did Rupert who could swim pretty well, and catch fish like a fiend, or Ozzy, who could swim like a dolphin, ever win Survivor?
Nope.
Your honors, Stimpy rests.
I gotta admit, the sentimental part of me hopes that Troy gets to experience the game for a bit, but in all honesty, I can’t see him winning.
Got thoughts? Post them at the end.
CBS Bio: Name (Age): Troy Robertson (50) Tribe Designation: Manono Current Residence: Miami, Fla. Occupation: Swimsuit Photographer Personal Claim to Fame: Adopting and raising my family of 12 marmoset monkeys. Inspiration in Life: Muhammad Ali. He changed the face of boxing and perhaps sports in general. He is the most recognized athlete on the planet and an outspoken social activist who crossed the racial limits. Hobbies: Studying monkeys, swimming, walking in nature with my dogs and working in exotic locations. Pet Peeves: People that constantly text while I’m having a conversation with them, bad drivers and women with manly hands. 3 Words to Describe You: Adventurous, determined and entertaining. SURVIVOR Contestant You Are Most Like: If I were to be totally honest I’d have to say I relate to no one. I’m Troy Robertson, I’m like nobody else! Reason for Being on SURVIVOR: I need this challenge for myself more than you will ever know! I want to know “how” and “who” I am in a major competition like this. This show is all I have thought about and concentrated on in the past 11 years!!! I need to know dreams come true. Why You Think You’ll “Survive” SURVIVOR: I’m a true outdoorsman. I can make a fire with two sticks. I am a swimmer and a natural born leader. I have the ability to make people the best they can be. I have great animal instincts and swim like a dolphin. Why You Think You Will Be the Sole SURVIVOR: I believe it’s my destiny. Truthfully, because I believe 100% that Survivor was created for me. I’ve been waiting 10 years and nothing will stop me! I have the skills and energy for every single category played on Survivor. There is not a single person on this planet more suited for this adventure!
Stimpy is a huge fan of Survivor and enjoys dissecting each episode. When not watching Survivor or sports on TV, he fills his time by skydiving, rockclimbing, golfing, and rollerblading, as well as sitting on the beach drinking beer in British Columbia, Canada. You can contact him at ds195@yahoo.ca.
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