Reality TV Calendar

Stimpy's Take

Jessica "Figgy"
Justin "Jay"

Survivor Millennials vs. Gen X: Justin
Stimpy's Take
Septeber 6, 2016

Justin "Jay" - MILLENIALS
Remember what I said about Jessica and the potential to butt-heads with an alpha-asshole.

Meet Justin folks.

He happens to be a charter member of the ‘my shit doesn’t stink’ club.

Oh being a millennial is all about freedom because we were born in a time when things are truly possible.

Okay, so were the rest of us who came before you just keeping the planet warm until YOU showed up?

Oh he loves how social media and other outlets can help you learn things so quickly. Because as everyone knows, if it’s on the internet, it’s gotta be true and factual, right?

Jesus fuck.

Then he has to up the ante and liken himself to Russell the Dick™ AND Woo. Fucking Woo!

All these previous players to choose from and you pick a three-time loser and an idiot who couldn’t outthink a paper bag? Impressive, and not in a good way.

Justin’s also the kind of asshole who thinks he can be an asshole and still get the win, because he’ll backstab with a smile on his face.

Well that’ll make ALL the difference.

Now Justin does say he has ‘street smarts’ and that’s a plus. He says he’s a good looking guy who can be flirtatious, and I can admit he’s a very pretty thing.

So it’s possible that he won’t be a raging dickhead. Possible, but not likely.

I’ve read profiles like this is the past and they’re generally indicative of being the profile of an asshole.

Despite any other tools or talents you bring to the table, assholes tend not to win this game.

Mainly because it’s a SOCIAL game, and in a social game, an asshole tends not to have jury waiting to hand them a check for a million dollars.

You’d think after all these years people would get that. It happened ONCE and that was with Heidik in Thailand. And the key to that was that Heidik may have been an asshole, he wasn’t an asshole with his tribe and allies.

Hence they were only too happy to give him the win. But now? Helen jabs herself in the eye with a pointy stick once a day for not seeing his true nature while they were out there.

So Justin? Just having a smile on your face isn’t going to get the job done. And if you think modeling your game after that three-time loser Russell the Dick™ is going to help you out, you are sorely mistaken.

There’s a reason The Dick™ is a three-time loser. He lost. Three time! And why? Because he was an asshole.

It ain’t rocket science.

Meet Ken

Got thoughts? Post them below.

Stimpy is a huge fan of Survivor and enjoys dissecting each episode. When not watching Survivor or sports on TV, he fills his time by skydiving, rockclimbing, golfing, and rollerblading, as well as sitting on the beach drinking beer in British Columbia, Canada. You can contact him at

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