Survivor Millennials vs. Gen X: Meet Paul Stimpy's Take
Septeber 6, 2016
Paul- GENERATION X
Good lord, he's fifty-two years old and I want to tell him to grow the hell up.
So yeah, this one ain't gonna be glowing with praise.
I mean I suppose it's okay for David Lee Roth to be your inspiration in life, but it smacks of setting bar kinda low. But oh my holy hell, you are gonna lose me by likening yourself to Ozzy. Fucking Ozzy! Why do so many people love this fucking three-time loser? Hell he only got the finals in his first kick at the can because he was an immunity hog AND he was being dragged along by Yul.
In his subsequent kicks at the can he fared even worse! So why? Maybe I could cut Paul some slack if he was PAULINE and just thought Ozzy was to die for. But for the love of all that's holy he's a fifty-two year old man! And he likens himself to Ozzy? Fucking Ozzy!?
Now he does say his primary motivation is to win the money, but he also wants to prove to his kids that he can do this shit at his age.
In other words: Money? What money? I have the heart of lion and I can do this shit at my age!
Seriously dude, go run a marathon or compete in a triathlon or something. Spare the fans of Survivor from having to watch your mid-life crisis play out before our eyes.
I'm not even gonna bother rating Paul's chances of winning, because he's got none.
Stimpy is a huge fan of Survivor and enjoys dissecting each episode. When not watching Survivor or sports on TV, he fills his time by skydiving, rockclimbing, golfing, and rollerblading, as well as sitting on the beach drinking beer in British Columbia, Canada. You can contact him at firstname.lastname@example.org
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