Amazing Race: Raised Eyebrows, Tears Shed, A Million Bucks
Episode 11 Commentary by Jessi K.
December 8, 2008
I have watched most season finales of The Amazing Race in hopes of a certain team crossing the finish line first. For the final episode of the 13th season, I found myself just hoping a certain team wouldn’t cross first. Whether it was Nick and Starr or Ken and Tina won the million, I didn’t really care. Just as long as it wasn’t Dan and Andrew.
Nick and Starr had quite a head start on the other two teams, receiving their clue to fly to Portland, Oregon from Moscow at 10:56 p.m., after a fist bump and an “I love you” for good luck. Dan and Andrew didn’t depart for the airport until 2:28 a.m. (sans fist bump and declarations of affection) and Ken and Tina were a full hour behind at 3:30 a.m. But it wasn’t a surprise when all the teams were equalized at the airport.
At the airport each team bought tickets for their flight to their final destination of Portland. Tina looked especially weary at the ticket counter and told Ken she felt she was about to lose it. He reassured her she was strong and in an interview clip Tina shared, “I do believe I can trust Ken. You know, I see it in his eyes. He’s just different. He’s changed.” Twenty three days on a reality TV show and Ken has been cured.
And I know why. Phil Keoghan. That mat at the end of each leg was like a therapist’s couch.
Once on the long flight back to the U.S., teams psyched themselves up for a win. Nick and Starr said they were ready to “rock it,” Ken and Tina were ready to “dominate” and Dan and Andrew referred to “the Moscow miracle” that they were one of the final three teams competing for the million dollar prize. Yes, a miracle indeed. It was a miracle they were even allowed passports really. There was no trash talk on their part because they knew they couldn’t. Had they been able to say anything it would’ve been, “Yeah, we’re going to fumble our way across the finish line.” “We are going to totally rock at bumbling.”
When the plane landed in Portland, the three teams raced for their lives off of it and it’s like it was immediately over for Dan and Andrew.
Amazingly, they met a cab driver much like themselves. He had no idea where their destination was and didn’t really seem all that dedicated to finding an answer. Nick and Starr, however, had prepared for such a situation and had printed directions off for the Tilkum adventure camp they needed to get themselves to. Starr would’ve driven that cab had the driver let her. It’s for this reason they deserved to be in the final. They were hungry for it.
Ken and Tina’s driver managed to get them to the destination first and teams had to choose between high and dry or low and wet. In high and dry, teams had to climb 30 feet into the air, walk across a 40 foot log and then jump onto a trapeze and grab one half of their next clue. In low and wet, teams had to cross over 800 feet of a log bridge to reach their clue on shore. I love how Tina is afraid of heights and immediately thought, “high and dry!” and then complained through the entire task about her fear. Maybe had the giant million dollar check been hanging off the trapeze she would’ve been more keen to jump. I have Rooneyphobia or fear of Andy Rooney and I have to face him every week when watching the Race but I’m sure that for a million dollars, I could spend a day with him. (I’d even treat him to a cup of coffee so he didn’t have to make it himself.)
While climbing the tree, Tina got wrapped up in the fact that her helmet had fallen off. When Ken told her to not worry about “her hat,” she only fretted more. A woman’s mind is a beautiful thing. You could just tell what she as thinking, “Oh, I’ll worry about it all right. And it’s not a hat, you idiot. It’s a helmet. It’s what’s going to save my life when I fall off this tree so I can continue to make yours a living hell.”
While all four of them completed the task, Dan and Andrew were still trying to find their way to the detour. Andrew called for directions and asked the cabbie to make a U-turn and the cabbie had to ask them where. “Wherever you can,” Andrew replied. Dan then put his head in his hands in disbelief. This was exactly how I felt watching the two of them all season.
From there, teams had to make their way to the Bridge of the Gods where they had to take a zip line to their next clue box. Tina, who was scared 30 feet off the ground, seemed to have no trouble jumping off a bridge and dangling above the rushing waters of the Colombia River. Each person had a camera strapped to them so we were given a bird’s eye view of their flight or of Starr’s chest on what could be called the “Cleavage Cam.”
Once across, teams picked.....
Jessi K. is a freelance writer from Iowa who has a penchant for reality TV, carbonated beverages, and boybands. She can be reached at Jessi@RealityTVCalendar.com.
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